Urbosa x Female Reader

unwise life choices

(A/n: just a disclaimer, this chapter is basically just Y/n getting shitfaced drunk with her dad and some others. If the mention of alcohol or getting drunk makes you uncomfortable, I'd recommend skipping this chapter. I'll add a summary of any plot important things mentioned at the end, but there probably won't be any. This is just gonna be a chapter of pure crack)

To be honest, you weren't entirely sure how you ended up here. One moment you were relaxing at home after travelling, then you were at the pub with your father and some soldiers from his unit. Yours, too, technically. When you weren't being constantly shackled by cleaning duty after... incidents. But hell, who cares about shit like that? You're dizzy on laughter and a growing number of pints, and the thoughts drift up to the ceiling with small amounts of smoke from.. actually, you don't know. Is that a bad thing though?

Meh, probably not.

Oh, now there's somebody else taking the seat opposite you. Maybe a knight? Maybe a farmer? Maybe some other guy with defined arm muscles? Either way, he slams an elbow down on the table with a raised, open hand and a competitive look in his eyes. Without hesitation, you mirror him in slamming your elbow down and staring down that stranger's eyes.

"Oooooh, who'll win!? Who'll win!? Place your bets, folks! Will it be Y/n, with her winning streak of 20!? Or will it be this jacked guy who just showed up!? Oooh, who will it be!? Who will it be!?" A soldier cries out dramatically, circling your table and drawing attention. Various 'oooh's are ooh'd all across the pub.

Now, you're pretty confident you can win. You're the reason many men across the pub are massaging their arms with heads hung in shame. You could benchpress the fucking moon right now.

With hands gripped in a strong grasp, the arm wrestle between you and this guy began! For the sake of the story, let's call him John.

To be honest, the arm wrestle started off okay. Neither contestant started with a clear advantage, and people started placing bets after a minute had passed and nobody had a clear advantage. Though to you? You were struggling to keep your arm up against this buff lad. This couldn't go on, but people were betting. Damn, peer pressure is a bitch. Unfortunately, you are a genius.

"Hey- hey, guy. Guess what?" You spoke with badly contained giggles.

"What?" John responded, looking up briefly to catch your shit eating grin and raise a suspicious eyebrow.

"You have very pretty eyes." You spoke in mock seriousness, staring into his eyes.

"I- what." Haha, the plan was a success! He was so confused that you temporarily gained the upper hand.

You cackled at the chaos, slamming your fist down, considerably pushing his down before he gets over the shock. Then he pushes back, but with a struggle against your alcohol-fuelled strength.

"You whore!" He yelled.

"Only for your mother!" You yelled back.

If looks could kill, you'd be chilling with the poes...

The crowd went wild, with people cheering on opposing sides and placing bets on this progress. You pushed as hard as you could, and by some gift from the Goddess you managed to slam John's hand into the table.

"Argh- you win. Congratulations." With his newly released hand, John stood up while massaging his wrist.

"Hey! You didn't make it easy. So congratulations yourself!" You called after him, ignoring the raging shouts cluttering the warm air of the bar.

However, the guy himself had left with a slow blink of the eye, and you'd found yourself in a loose headlock from... someone. Probably your friend.

Well, the loud laughter coming from all sides was contagious and you soon found yourself joining in with hearty laughs that left you leaning into your friend's arms.

Other than that, hours blurred into seconds with you only having a vague idea of what the hell's going on. Maybe you climbed on a table and started dancing? Your father probably dragged you down, silly goose.

But who the fuck cares? You feel GREAT!! And plus, you haven't gotten kicked out yet, so that's a win.

...

Something or other happened, but now you're using one of the guys in your unit as a surfboard and you could swear you were surfing across the ocean, and not even Hylia herself could stop you

Your father, however, could.

"Y/n! For Hylia's sake get off him-" His slightly annoyed tone should've been an indication of something, but you ignored it.

"Noo!! I don' wanna drown!" You cried, nearly losing balance.

"Wheeeee...!!" A muffled voice cheered beneath your feet.

"Fine, be like that. But I expect you both to participate in tomorrow's training and to not embarass yourselves." He huffs, crossing his arms.

"Huh? Whaazappening tomorrow?" Surfboard guy asks, lifting his head slightly from the floor.

"Oh, that's right, I haven't told you two yet. You've been too busy being idiots." He sighed, rubbing his temple. "Y/n, get off him and I'll tell you both."

Seems like a fair deal.

So you get off the guy, and I'm gonna say his name is Jerry for the sake of convenience, and you both sit on the floor.

"So! Since she's here on a visit, the chief of the Gerudo has generously agreed to help with your training sessions. Tomorrow, in fact. So you two cuccoo heads had better sober up or get some sleep or else it's going to be absolute hell." Your father spoke matter of factly, with hands now placed on his hips and head looking down at you.

"Oohh- isn't she.. like... really good? Or.. something?" Jerry excitedly taps you on the shoulder and speaks faster than his brain can process. Bless him.

"Uh-huh! Best swords-woman in the west!! She's really nice! And pretty." You responded with equal enthusiasm.

"Pfft- what are you, her wife?" Jerry giggled.

"Nahhhhh.... she's just pretty. Like- uh.. like, a tree. Yeah. A pretty tree with flowers. That can, uh, that can sword very well."

"... Okay Y/n, that's enough. Come on, I'm taking you home." Your father chuckled a tiny bit as he grabbed your hand and tried hoisting you up to your feet.

"Huh?? Whyyy? I feel greaat!!" You giggled and leant on him. He rolled his eyes and just slung your arm over his very broad shoulders while using his other arm to hold onto your other shoulder.

"You won't be saying that in the morning, come on."

"Okayy... bye people!!" You called out before following- half dragged by- your father out of the bar.

To be honest, you have no fucking clue how you got home.

...

But you do recall hugging a very confused Link before passing out on the floor.

(A/n: yeah nothing that special happened here, but I hope you enjoyed! For people who read the warning at the start and scrolled down here, the only plot important thing that happens is that Y/n has a friend called Jerry and she's gonna train with Urbosa next chapter. Also, quick question, would you dear readers prefer shorter chapters but updated more regularly, or the same slightly longer chapters roughly every month? Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this chapter and have a nice existence :] )