14 It is Okay to Run Away!

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Am running today!

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Am running today!

I know it is a sunny day!

But I want to feel cold!

I want to feel sad!

I WANT TO ALLOW MYSELF TO FEEL!

I am taking the exit emergency,

I want to only sense the warmth of my tears,

The warmth of the right hand holding the left hand,

I want to feel the warmth of my own words, saying it is okay,

The train for running people is almost empty,

Our luggage is different from the other luggages of other trains,

We carry pieces of our broken souls,

We carry our disappointments,

We carry our mistakes,

We carry our hopeless minds,

We carry the hurting words,

We carry a cloudy heart,

We carry a face we barely recognize,

We carry a soul full of scars,

we carry an aching body,

we carry a Collection of unknown memories and experiences,

we carry ghosts!

And we brought a backpack carrying faith that maybe we will find a way back home one day!

Where is home anyway!

I am just going to follow my inner compass,

And let everyone down!

I am not going to listen to the voices in my head that I inherited from a lot of somewheres, and that keeps singing in un rhythmic way:

you can't do that!

why you did that!

why you didn't do that!

you should feel guilt!

you should feel ashamed!

This is nothing to cry about it isn't worth it!

why you are weak!

Don't be dramatic!

Why you are so sensitive!

why you don't listen!

you can't do that,

you can't be pleased, you only please!

Just settle and live! And the list goes long....

Those voices choked me, I felt suffocating even when I was in a forest full of trees,

I couldn't breathe anymore!

Even an oxygen tank didn't work on me,

I could only inhale but no way to exhale,

I can't listen to these voices anymore,

they made me look to a hazed mirror where I can't even fit my own reflection!

It stands their wavy we can't recognize each other, two different species from different dimensions,

My wings were Clipped preventing me to fly where the stars are,

I Swallowed those words from the voices with a smile in my face, voices that couldn't even fit my own brain,

How can I ridicule a pain that squeezed my heart, boiled my blood, and hijacked my mind,

I still taste those words, that felt like a salted water in my mouth,

a trembling handcuffed hands is what they offered me, the voices,

a stuttering tongue is what i was left with,

an unfamiliar heartbeat sound that i can't respond to!

a hallway full of closing doors is where i was left in,

a fading footsteps is all what i could hear,

like beasts in my head those voices were wrecking,

i could only smell the burns of my desires and hopes,

i couldn't move just like a bird being caged,

i was left with a mangled body,

a scattered spirit,

everynight i hosted a party under the theme "pitying myself", it was inside a hospital room i created in my heart , no one can attend!

mourning the mental health i was robbed of!

i am not a victim of them

i am the victim of my own less loved self!

i am leaving so i can see the sun outshining the moon when it rises and see the moon stealing the sun's light at night!

i am leaving to find a way of countering the bad with good!

i am going to burn those voices to ashes, as i will rise from the ashes!

i am going to toss myself into a shape i would only recognize!

I am going to unhide myself!

let the sun shine through me and the moon light my journey, and the stars befriend me!

I am going to run to forgive them and ME!

hello friends, hope you had a peaceful day, just stay warm and take care of yourselves!

Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.

hello friends, hope you had a peaceful day, just stay warm and take care of yourselves!

How do you deal with difficult times!

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