Side to Side || HEEJAKE

Mixed Up

"Will you go out with me?"

Jake's hand that was on Niki's back, rubbing it slowly, stopped the action immediately. He felt stiff. Stiff like a rock. Because he never expected that.

It wasn't a shock, what he experienced. It was something else, guilt.

His mind pulled up all his moments with Niki, which he hardly thought about. He thought about how Niki had always tried to make things obvious. He remembered how Niki wanted to protect him all the time, especially from Heeseung. He remembered how Niki took care of him and made him smile, whenever they were together.

He smiled internally, thinking about the times Niki would flirt with him in a 'friendly' manner. Once, when they were filming 'Heartbreak anniversary' for TikTok with Niki's friends and Jay, and Niki was so close to his face, that their foreheads were in contact. It was a great memory, since it was one of the very first ones with Niki. He remembered how all of them teased Niki about the video later. Since then, they've been filming a lot of dance challenges together. That was something he loved doing, with Niki.

He loved doing everything with the younger. He ran through his thoughts finding Niki in all the pleasant ones. Niki sleeping with him. Niki dancing with him. Niki eating with him. Niki and him playing and pranking Jay. Teasing Jay about his crush on a junior, together. Him helping Niki with Physics.

But he never imagined THIS. He never noticed. That's where the guilt came from.

He tried to pull out of the hug slowly but Niki didn't let him. Jake could tell, the younger was scared. Scared of rejection and scared of losing the strong friendship he had with Jake. And even though Jake knew that their friendship would never end, just because Niki had feelings for him, he couldn't choose between accepting and rejecting.

"Jake hyung-g, I'm sorry please j-just forget it." Niki hiccuped in between. He was crying.

Jake's heart broke. It was his fault for not noticing Niki. He needed to correct his mistake. He was the one who should take responsibility. He loved Niki, platonically, but he did. He would never mind dating him but the choice did not come to him easily.

Niki's grip loosened on Jake, as he pulled out of the hug. But Jake never let him, embracing him even tighter. Jake's headache was bad, but it wasn't why he wanted to cry. He was a crybaby.

"I am willing to go out with you, Niki." Jake ruffled the younger's hair. "So, don't cry. It breaks me."

This time, it was Niki who was shocked. He never expected that Jake would accept it. To be honest, he had already planned what he was going to do when he rejected him. Niki was so thrilled that he started to cry out of happiness.

"Thank you, hyung." Niki cooed.

Jake smiled through the tears that threatened to fall. He felt at ease, but at the same time, he felt like he was betraying someone else.

Jake walked to school the next day with Niki. Jay couldn't accompany them because Jungwon had asked him to be at school a little bit earlier than usual. Niki was really happy to walk to school with his 'unofficial' boyfriend. He giggled everytime he thought about calling Jake his 'boyfriend'.

Both of them had been walking for 15 minutes now, barely even talking. Because Niki didn't initiate anything today, and Jake did not try to break the silence, wishing that Niki would at least say something. But the younger was too shy to talk.

it was indeed becoming awkward. Jake had to say something to break it.

"The weather is great today." Jake said.