David: Enough! How dare you mock me in such a manner!?
Mario: Well. How would you like me to mock you? I take requests.
....
Mario: I currently have 7 empty notebooks and I have no idea what to put in them. Any suggestions?
Inmo: Put spaghetti in it.
Mario: I am currently taking suggestions from everyone but you.
Blake: Put spaghetti in it.
Mario: I am currently taking suggestions from everyone but you two.
Brandon: Put spaghetti in it.
Mario: I am no longer taking suggestions.
......
Boat: That was the worst throw ever. Of all time.
Ritchie: Not my fault. Somebody put a wall in the way.
......
Kit: Does anyone know how to relax? Asking for a friend.
......
Blake: We’re going to a candy store?!
Boat: No! It’s nighttime, candy stores are closed.
Kit: We’re gonna ROB a candy store?!?!
Boat, sighing: No-
......
David: Isn't it amazing how I can feel so bad and still look so good?
.....
Boat: What the hell is wrong with you?
David: I have this weird self-esteem issue where I hate myself but still think I’m better than everyone else.
.....
*after discussing a plan*
Ritchie: Does anyone have any questions?
Mario: Is this legal?
Ritchie: Does anyone have any relevant questions?
....
Brandon: You know you can die from that, right?
David: *smoking a cigarette* That’s the point.
Mario: *drinking alcohol* We’re trying to speed this up.
Inmo: *Eating raw cookie dough and nodding*
......
*David is substitute teaching*
Student: What did you say?
David: I said, whoever threw that paper, your mom’s a hoe!
.....
David: You’re jealous.
Mario: Jealous?
David: That’s why you were being so negative about this.
Mario: That’s absurd. I’m always negative.
......
Ritchie: I don’t mean to be rude—
Mario: Yet, sadly, accidental rudeness occurs alarmingly often.
......
Boat: Petition to remove the 'd' from Wednesday.
Ritchie: Wednesay.
Boat: Not what I had in mind, but I'm flexible.
.......
Boat: If I say yes am I joining a cult?
Ritchie: Possibly.
Boat: I’m in.
.......
Ritchie: *finds half a watermelon at Whole Foods*
Ritchie, holding it up for everyone to see: LIES!
.......
Brandon: You are irrationally angry 365 days a year.
Mario: Well, that’s just your personal opinion, I don’t have anger issues. Do you guys think I have anger issues?
Inmo: Well, I wouldn’t really call it an issue. An issue is something you can fix.
.....
Ritchie: Being gay isn't a choice. It's a game and I'm winning.
....
Kit: I have so much energy, I want to run a marathon or commit a crime... which should I do?
Mario: Please don’t get arrested.
Kit: No promises! <3
David: Why not both? Get creative!
Kit: Wonderful suggestion, thank you.
Mario: Please don’t encourage them, David.
