Loser Gets Kissed on the Mouth

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It was getting a bit darker when we all got back up to the living room.

We didn't want anyone else around us, so we ordered food again.

Harry lit the joint that he'd rolled earlier, and he sat between Louis and I on the couch, an arm wrapped over each of us.

"So...you like my boyfriend, baby?" He asks Louis, handing him the joint with a smirk in his voice.

"I do, he's alright. Yeah. Could be a tad more adventurous.. " Louis replies, smirking, and taking a hit.

He's being sarcastic and giving me shit, but he's so good at keeping it deadpan and monotone, I wonder if part of him is serious.

"In all seriousness Matt, I know this is...fucking bizzare...but, you must be too, to still be here then, yeah?" He says with a wink, passing me the joint.

I feel completely at ease. I feel so accepted. So welcomed by both of them.

"I think we passed bizarre about 1000 miles back" I laugh out.

"But I am. I love it. I'm shocked that I do...I can't explain how..shocking these last 2 weeks have been..." I say laughing a little harder.

"But if you never saw the video, Louis, I still wouldn't know this part of me existed. Like, it's insane how much effort I put into something subconsciously...."

"If you never saw it, Lou, not only would I not be here with you guys, but I'd still be lying to myself, forcing myself to believe it. So thank you. So much." I say, passing the joint back to Harry, who is smiling contently.

Louis shifts a little in his seat to face me.

"I'm really glad we helped you Matt, but you did it all yourself." He's still, somehow, exhaling smoke as he speaks.

"None of us would be here right now if you weren't open to this absolute circus...and Harry wouldn't have you. That would seriously be tragic for all of us"

"You peaked my interest, of course. I loved that you wanted Harry, that a part of you did enough to make that joke" he tells me kindly.

"I'm glad to have played a part in it, and I'm glad that he has you when I'm gone....and that we have you when I'm here"

"You and I, we obviously don't know each other like you two do..."

"But I do feel like I know you in a sense, because I trust him completely, and he's all about you." He continues

"I have exactly that with Dom. I want Haz to have it too. I want you with us. As long as you'd like." Louis finishes speaking, his expression serious, even through glossy eyes.

I'm smiling from ear to ear, and thank you is all I can say if I don't want to start crying.

"Wait 'til you hear about his little crush!" Harry yells, stubbing the joint out and looking between us.

"Shut up, asshole!" I yell, half joking, half serious.

I put my hand over Harry's mouth while I laugh. I can feel my face flushing and I don't understand why.

I think I really like Louis, too. Not in the same way as Harry, but a dirty kind of fondness that I can't describe better than that.

"Oooh do tell" Louis says, batting his eyes playfully.

"Not a chance" I say back, but I'm powerless against the puppy dog "please" he sends back my way.

"Fine. I caught your show in Chicago with some girl last year...walked in your rainbow paradise, if you will" I say with a laugh.