How would God respond to making a mistake? Would planets collide or mountains slide into the sea? Or would the ledger of all life simply remain out kilter until a series of small events forced that ledger back into balance again? It's probably the l...
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August 10, 5:29PM
Toronto, Ontario
I still have the ten dollars the man gave a couple of days ago. I don't need it, so I guess I should give it to someone who really does. But first, I have to decide what that means. Ten dollars isn't likely to change most people's lives but it might change something for someone so I should probably think about this some more.
Or maybe I could do something completely different with it. Maybe I could just toss it into the back of the cornucopia U-Haul. Throw it into that black (black) void and be done with it. Except that means I'd have to find the truck again and that doesn't seem likely. At least not today.
Since I'm up here in Canada, most of the U-Hauls are Canadian U-Hauls with Canadian province names and Canadian pictures on the sides of the trucks. In fact, I just saw one for Saskatchewan with a tractor perched on top of a flowing field of wheat. I was surprised at first, but I guess I shouldn't have been. I'm here in Canada, after all. It just caught me off guard for a second.
But seeing that truck also made me wonder what this part of the world looked like hundreds of years ago. Clearly, there were no flowing fields of wheat but there might have been grasslands. More likely, though, it was similar to the way the first European explorers described this world when they were wandering through it. They must have seen mile after rolling mile of trees. Deer and bear and carrion birds.
I like to imagine what it was like back then. Especially for Henry Hudson. I can't explain why, but he has always been my favorite explorer. It's been four hundred years since Henry's crew mutinied and left him to die on the ice. I know it's a sad story, Buddy, but I've been fascinated with it since I was little. I think about Henry being marooned in the middle of nowhere with no one to talk to but himself. For most of my life, I've felt like I was also marooned but marooned in the center of a crowd. There are people everywhere around me and there's no way to avoid them. I know it's different for me than it was for Henry, but mostly it's the same. If he was here, I bet he'd understand.
Like I said, it's a sad story.
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I walked around the circular stadium hoping to find someone who looked they could use my ten dollars. But everyone I saw was far too well-dressed to need anything from me, so I shoved the money back in my pocket and watched the clouds cover and uncover the sun. This was the first truly bright day since I started.
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The next entry in Ril's diary read:
Feb 14
(16 days before Christmas)
You made it out of here just before Starling got back. Tomorrow, you may have to leave by the window. That would be exciting for me, but I know I shouldn't cut things so close because Starling might be watching me. He should be watching, but he probably isn't.
Starling gave me a teddy bear for Valentine's Day. Your gift was better. 28 ways better. I counted every one of them. Would you like to see the list?
Starling = Expressionlessness.
(I think I made that up. It has 6 S's.)
Does he think I'll never leave?
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