Loving Pride

Hallucinations Never Last

In the days that went by, Colonel Marquez Agaria stayed very much in love with his mistress. His fond glances, smiles, lust—everything was directed towards Lydia Thorne, and she accepted his affections wholeheartedly.

Thomas remained aggravated in the middle of their show of love because he had to witness them kiss multiple times in a day. The little boy began doubting his mother's affection for him. Whom did she love more? Him or the Colonel?

"Pay attention," The Colonel's sharp voice shook him and he focused on his sums once more, but he grew distracted again and stared at his father.

Captain Finch was drawing plans for the final war with the Colonel who was seated on the couch beside him. Meanwhile, Thomas was seated far away at his father's table, annoyed over the fact that he couldn't see what the men were working on.

"I received a letter that does not look good," Captain Finch said to the Colonel. "The Reds have a secret army, my agent said. They have been saving it for the final ambush. Russia has been partnering with them. Hence, their weaponry is also said to be effective. We have minimum resources left, Colonel."

"I received that nonsense too." The Colonel replied in his bored tone, "They are bluffing, Captain. I read Gregor's journal four times. They have no secret army. They plan on spreading the misinformation so that we'll retreat. The Blacks never retreat." His steel eyes were formidable.

"It's a good thing I trust you, Colonel, but the state officer doesn't. You should talk with him about the journal or he might make mistakes."

"Nobody cares about that bastard who's never been in a real war. Our soldiers listen to me and they believe it when I say we'll win," the Colonel deadpanned.

Lydia knocked and entered the room with a set of letters in her hands, "Felix asked me to bring them to you, Colonel."

"Give them here and bring whisky," he told her. Lydia nodded and poured two glasses for the men. Captain Finch then took the opportunity to reveal the news of his engagement to a girl he loved. "The war is coming to an end, and I promised to marry her when it does," he smiled.

Somehow, the words he uttered stuck to the Colonel. He found himself thinking about it for the rest of the day. While eating, bathing, even as he took off his shirt to sleep, he kept thinking of what his life would turn into once the war ended. Lydia strolled into his room like a fairy at that time and mentioned the loose stitch on one of his shoulder patches. The Colonel handed her his shirt and watched her sew by the edge of his bed.

"When the war ends, Lydia," he said, taking a cigarette between his lips and lighting it, "Where will you go?"

"No place without you," she smiled to herself.

Colonel Marquez Agaria didn't ask her anything more that night. He knew that the girl before him was speaking as though she were dreaming. Of course, she was naive. She wouldn't understand his notion of purpose and war. Nobody would understand it as well as him, he concluded.

Even though he spoke only of love whenever he trapped Lydia against the table in his office or a wall in the corridor, at the back of his mind, he was growing restless with the idea of an ending. There was a pain in his chest every time he looked at little Thomas advancing as a scholar or Lydia Thorne with constellations in her eyes.

The only thing that kept him energetic was the final war. He'd manage to end the Reds once and for all. Colonel Marquez Agaria would emerge as a true war hero after that. He'd be the greatest warrior to walk the Earth. He'd be respected and feared by everyone across lands. He'd hold his head high with tremendous pride.

"There's a week left."

He whispered against Lydia's ear before tenderly kissing her neck. She looked at him from over her shoulder and smiled. Her happiness had known no bounds for the past few months because the Colonel seemed better than the man she loved six years ago. Lydia Thorne couldn't wait for the war to come to an end.

She was certain that the Colonel would marry her when the war ended and they'd go on to live in a peaceful house on the countryside. They'd have many more children and Thomas would grow up as a very responsible elder brother. Lydia would get to live her dream of eternal love with the Colonel by her side.

As the Colonel rested his prickly chin on her shoulder while they were on his swiveling chair, his rough hands enveloping hers from behind as she fiddled with the shaving knife in her hand.

"I've always wondered what the inscription says," she told him.

"Read it slowly, letter by letter," the Colonel replied, holding her finger beneath each letter that was carved on the metal.

Lydia made a brave attempt because she had paid attention to Thomas's lessons. She had picked up most words and alphabets, and now they came in handy. Letter by letter, she spelled the words, and the Colonel helped with concatenation.

"To Colonel Marquez Agaria, the war hero, this belongs." Lydia read everything aloud finally.

"Good. The same goes for you now, remember," A smile pulled at his lips as he rasped, kissing her neck once more.

"How come, Colonel?" She laughed.

"Read it again," he commanded, "Read it like you are the knife."

She, who was smitten in every way possible, repeated the words in the way he wanted to hear them.

"To Colonel Marquez Agaria, the war hero, I belong." Lydia's ruddy face glowed.

He squeezed his arms around her and attacked her with the sweetest affection he could muster. She laughed, and surrendered herself to his lips and hands.

But their hallucination didn't last long.

Felix knocked on the door and the Colonel asked him to come in with Lydia still on his lap. The soldier wasn't fazed; he was already consumed by a more shocking surprise that he heard on the candlestick phone.

"Colonel." He spoke in a tone unknown to either of the lovers.

"The State Officer signed a peace treaty."