𝑆𝑡𝑎𝑟

.

"Hi, how are you? Is the view nice up there?

It's cloudy today, so I can't see you, but I imagine you're playing in the clouds, aren't you?

It must be fun.

I hope you're resting too, taking care of yourself.

You must be liberated now that you've left this Earth.

I'm cold, really cold to be honest. I miss you so much, knowing you're so far away from me, it's hard.

But you're okay. I know you are.

Please be okay for me.

Enjoy your new life in the clouds, among the stars, you deserved it.

Please keep watching over me, as you always have, so that I feel your presence by my side.

I always imagine you coming to see me with your sparkling eyes, you were always happy to see me.

I've always been happy to see you too.

Even when all I wanted to do was cry, when I was feeling worthless, when I didn't feel like I belonged in this world anymore, you were happy to see me.

You made life important to me.

You were always so warm and gentle, always cuddling me as if you knew I wasn't okay.

Can you keep hugging me?

I'm so cold.

It's so cloudy tonight I can't see the stars, but you're one of them, I'm sure.

I'm sad, you know, very sad.

You probably don't want me to be, but I am.

I can't help it.

I feel empty.

It hurts not to be able to hold on to this image of you in my head, not to be able to hug you the way I'd like to.

Come into my dreams often, please?

I've got a lot to tell you.

I ask you a lot of things, hm?

I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.

You should be resting, and I'm still asking you to be by my side.

Are any of your friends with you?

If so, you must be happy to see them again.

Is Golden there?

I hope so.

Tell him I say hi and I'm sorry I didn't protect him enough, maybe he can come in my dream with you?

I would love to see him again.

He must have felt lonely in the clouds, but you're with him now, I like to think so.

It makes me a little happy and reassures me.

I'm afraid you'll be scared up there.

I've been shivering since yesterday, why am I always so cold?

It hurts.

It hurts so bad.

I don't even know what to say.

I just want to talk to you and make sure you're okay.

And probably say goodbye, if I'd known the last time it would be the last I'd have taken even longer.

I would have liked to see you until the very end.

I would have hugged you tight and told you I loved you.

Now all I can do is say it to the stars, and hope you can hear me.

I think I'll stop for now, I hope to see you soon, no matter what.

I love you my Kiki, you'll always be in my heart watching over me, I know it.

Farewell, and thank you for everything."

☆