The Sermons of Vairāgi

Marriage: Necessity or choice

" Will you marry? " - Yash

Vairāgi-," We all are 20-21 years old... Don't you think you asked it quite earlier?"

Y-," I am just asking for your opinion...."

V-," No, I won't"

Y-," You are the only son of your parents... Don't you think it is your responsibility to marry?"

V-," So what if I am the single child? I didn't understand."
Y-," I mean, you have to perpetuate your genes to the next generation if you are the only child. "

V-," What will happen after that?"

Y-," You are wierd... I mean to say that population exists because of marriage."

V-," Do you know what's the current population of the country, and of the world? Environment is already getting screwed and you want me to add one more human being to accelerate this process?"

Y-," So you won't marry because you don't want children?"

V-," It's one of the many reasons I have for not marrying...."

Y-," What are those reasons?"

V-," I won't get someone to marry...."

Y-," Oh come on! Be serious..."

V-," Your time will be wasted if I started once...."

Y-," I am already getting bored... It would be atleast entertaining to know those reasons, I guess..."

V-," So you want me to tell you?:

Y-," Yes, go ahead..."

V-," First, let me ask you a question- Why do we marry?"

Y-," Because it is necessary for perpetuation of human species on Earth. "

V-," So, it means that once this task is accomplished, all marriages become useless?"

Y-," It is about creating a bond, with the other human... The concept of soulmates and all..."

V-," First, let me tell you that this soulmate thing is all due to human brain stupidity, as an opposition to Renaissance in Europe. When total population of males and females are not exactly equal, how can there be soulmates for everyone?"

Y-," Okay, another benefit of marriage is that your sons or daughters will help you in old age."

V-," Do you know how much money you will have to invest on the child's education, food, and other utilities? Save that money and keep on investing... You will be able to take care of yourself in old age.... And yes, how can one guarantee that his or her offspring will surely help him or her in future? "

Y-," Atleast there is someone whom you can sit for sometime and talk when you are distressed. Who is with you, so that you can't feel alone. That's the benefit of having a partner."

Y-," I think being four or five great friends, either male or female, are highly better than having a wife. I know that my friends can not always be with me, but when I will be distressed, I will chill out with them. Which will make me better.
Having a wife may be a potential threat to my freedom and solitude. I believe that solitude, in certain amounts, is essential for self discovery and development."

Y-," You can't have sex with your male friends, you know?"

V-," So does that mean, people marry for having sex?"

Y-," Well, not exactly, but it is an important aspect of married life."

V-," If sex is a great thing, you will surely get bored of it when you get it in ample amounts. So if sex is the driving force for marriage, such marriages don't tend to be stable later on.... One can have sex till a specific age, after which, the body and the hormonal composition of blood changes a lot. What then?"

Y-," So you mean that sex is not worth it?"

V-," I don't want to comment on the aspects which I have never done myself, as you will not consider it a valuable or reliable source. I never drank or smoked, and I also don't want to... But if someone asks me whether drinking or smoking is bad, I only say that it is bad for me, I can't say about you..."

Y-," Believe me or not, but you will get bored of yourself sooner."

V-," I know how to deal with that... I don't fear boredom, as it can be killed if you keep yourself engaged."

Y-," What do you do to engage yourself?"

V-," Two hours of exercise and one hour of running. Three hours of studying, and one hour of trading and investment. One hour of writing blogs.
Where is any free time?"

Y-," Don't you get tired following the same routine on a daily basis? "
V-," I take breaks on Sundays when I roam in the parks, streets, do meditation, cycling etc.."

Y-," You really are a machine, not a human really..."

V-," Machine can be one who doesn't have enough consciousness to make decisions on it's own. I am unbothered by my internal impulses... I do everything by my mind..."

Y-," Everyone works under the influence of mind. What do you mean by impulses?"

V-," A lot of marriages, though not all, happen due to primeval need of sex. And the impulses for sex arise from the hormones, not from the thinking mind.
You have two options, either let the hormones rule your mind, or allow your mind to exert control over yourself so that you are not influenced by hormones...."

Y-," Seems like you said the truth before this conversation started  that I will get tired in this conversation, and I really am... Gotta go... Bye!"

V-," Bye! Utilise the time!"