Useless

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Requested by BTSOT7stan894

⚠️Trigger Warning - Self harm⚠️

"Water boy Ishan where are you ?...."

It had been a running joke in the team for a very long time...Ishan is for raising the sprits of the team...Ishan is to carry the luggage of the team...Ishan is the bodyguard...Ishan is for emotional support in the group...When being the emotional support changed to being just the emotional support no one knew. And when laughing hard at these jokes turned to barely managing to put on a fake smile while holding back his tears Ishan didn't know.

"Ayee Ishu...carry my bag since I am making your runs for you on the ground"

Everyone laughed at Surya's joke. They weren't trying to be mean. Ishan knew that. They made these jokes because Ishan laughed at them because Ishan wasn't brave enough to tell them it hurt because he wasn't brave enough to draw a line and show his emotions because he was scared of ending up alone if he wasn't part of the jokes.

The joker...that was his role. He couldn't cry in front of the team..he just couldn't..they expected him to smile...smile...always smile he couldn't be weak he was already pathetic and useless he couldn't stop doing the one thing he is supposed to do as well that was be a joke...he couldn't stop that just because he was weak...

"Ishu...Ishu..." Shubman shook him out of his mind

"Does the group's emotional supporter need emotional support...Don't worry Ishu you helped a lot on the field today....after the match, in clicking our photos and carrying our bags.."Surya laughed

Don't cry..everyone is laughing...don't cry...it's just a joke...it's just a joke..

Ishan stopped eating not being able to swallow anymore but he kept his head down. His hands unconciously moved to his wrist, nails digging into his skin through his full sleeves t-shirt.

After a while when the conversation and attention on the dinner table had moved away from Ishan, he looked down to see red patches on his white shirt. He had reopened his wounds and bled through his shirt.

His eyes immediately traveled across the table to make sure no one noticed

It's okay..no one saw....it's fine....Shit !!

Ishan's eyes landed on Shubman who was frowning in confusion while looking at him. It didn't seem like he had caught on to what was actually happening but knowing Shubman there will sure be questions...What is that stain on your shirt ? How did it get their ?

Panic surged through Ishan

..He had to get out of here before Shubman or anyone else asked any questions..he had to get out...they can't know..

He stood up quickly chair scraping against the floor. In his panic he failed to notice a glass of water placed at the edge of the table and accidentally tipped it over while standing up.

The glass crashed to the floor and broke into several tiny pieces. The attention of the whole room turned towards Ishan.

Noo....no..you are soo useless...you break everything...what is wrong with you..

Tears sprung to his eyes as he panickedly bent down to pick up the broken glass.
"I am sorry..I am sorry... sorry...so sorry..." he kept repeating.

The whole room was stunned to see Ishan in such a state.

"No Ishu get up...don't do that with your bare hands you are gonna hurt yourself.."Shubman ran towards Ishan, held on tight to his wrist and pulled him up. Ishan winced as the cuts on his wrist stung because of the tight hold. Shubman noted the expression and removed his tight grip now holding on gently to his plam. He inspected the covered wrist but before his mind could catch on Ishan was running out of his grip away from the table.

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