Stranger in the Mirror

Self-Interest

The freedom of thought comes with pain, suffering, and an overwhelming sense of confusion. It was a condition that Leonardo had nearly forgotten how to feel, but now that it was back, he felt it in full force. The whirling whirlwind of self-hatred and guilt attacked his soul, squeezing it and crushing it with the force of a thousand soldiers.

Oh god, what had he done?

Cassandra was gone. April was bloody. Casey and Raph and Donnie were fighting for their lives, as were older Raph, New April, and Little Mikey. And Michelangelo—oh Mikey... He'd nearly killed him, and Leo could still hear his wheezing as he fought the rest of the Kraang as they tried to choke the life out of him—

Leonardo froze at the realization. He had no time to dwell on his guilt; he had to save them, now.

He blinked his eyes white and resumed command of the Kraang. They fell into place immediately, and his brothers stared at him in horror. Just seeing their betrayed gazes was nearly enough to break Leonardo down then and there, but he had no choice but to keep going. He had to save them. As it was, he was too weak to defeat all the Kraang on his own... but if he could get them back to the main room, they could stand a chance. He just had to lock them out.

"Should Kraang escort those known as the turtles and the humans to that which is known as the prison which belongs to Kraang?"

No. Leonardo flinched, hoping no one noticed, and shook his head. "We'll take them back to the transportation room," he said instead, "and put the devices on them there immediately."

Michelangelo's choked sob echoed through the room. Leonardo inhaled deeply, wanting nothing more than to run to his little brother and throw his arms around him for the first time in months. He wanted to tell him that all would be okay, that he was back, he promised. He wanted to hug him and wipe away his tears because that was his baby brother, and Leo was always supposed to take care of him... he wasn't supposed to hurt him, to scare him to death, or to threaten to take away his free will. He wasn't supposed to do this, yet here he was.

But then a quiet hum reverberated through Leo's mind. He blinked and looked up. His April stared directly at him, eyes glowing ever so slightly... and she nodded. A simple gesture, but an incredibly powerful symbol of trust, one that Leonardo needed more than ever at that moment.

April knew it was him. April trusted him.

He held onto this knowledge like a lifeline. Leonardo marched them down the hall to what his team thought were their dooms, but was really the Kraang's. He led them there proudly, ignoring Raphael's angry shouts, and keeping a hand on Michelangelo to support him as he walked.

"Mikey," he whispered the second he could, "it's gonna be okay."

And then he jumped into action, April right behind them. In mere moments, the door was locked behind them and the rest of the Kraang were scurrying off to hide in corners and holes in the wall, leaving their busted metal bodies to rust on the cold floor. Only once this was done did he dare acknowledge the situation. Only once this was done did he dare allow himself to feel.

And he collapsed in a pile on the ground.

His brothers embraced him and whispered words of comfort. Leo, through it all, could do nothing but cling to them with all his might, fingers clutching onto the edges of their shells and pulling them tighter. The last time he let go, he lost them, and he wasn't going to let that happen. He couldn't lose them again, couldn't lose himself again... he just wanted to stay here with them forever, never ever letting go.

He couldn't stop the apologies from pouring out of his mouth. But he couldn't stop his brothers' comfort either.

"It's okay Leo," Mikey said, pushing through each apology Leonardo made, each word more desperate than the last. "It's not your fault. It wasn't you—we're okay. You're okay. It's okay."