One Wrong Choice

Planning

...

   "...What happened?"

   My father had sat me down after I had broken down in his arms. I felt like a little girl running to her dad...it reminded me of the way our relationship used to be. All that on top of everything that had happened with Arthur, Alexander, a child, and the abuse over the last couple of weeks had caused me to crumble and collapse, sobbing between breaths until he'd taken me to the main sitting area and sat me down in front of the fireplace.

   "I...," I didn't know what to say...if I told him...he may think of me the way Alexander did,...as a whore. But I don't know what else I could tell him. "I...met someone." I began. My father, who sat just across from me in his large cushioned chair watched me carefully. The roaring fire casting a warm light into the room, casting dark shadows of his face. "And?" He questioned. "...and...he was...kind. And genuine, and absolutely nothing like any man I'd met before." I felt tears burn against my eyes again. My head and throat had begun to hurt from all the crying. My father said nothing as I continued,"I began to meet with him more and more behind Alexander's back, I didn't think it mattered, Alexander seeks prostitution behind my back plus he's cheating on me with one specific woman just done the damn street!...And his drinking problem has gotten so much worse and it's only made his temper worse and-!" My voice cracked slightly as the words fell from my mouth in a never ending rant of everything I'd endured over the past 2 weeks. I hated Alexander, I hated that he was my husband, I hated that he wanted to father my child, I hated that he kept me from Arthur, but over everything else I hated that he had made my life so miserable...my father said nothing as I explained how I'd met Arthur. He didn't seem overjoyed that I had fallen head over heels for a theif but I reassured him that he was a good man. Unconventional as he may be. He was good to me in every way Alexander wasn't and then some, he was to me what my mother was to my father. "...I know he isn't wealthy...and I know he's a cowboy and not the most financially reliable but he treats me with respect. Hes honorable and kind and talks to me like I am a person!...instead of just...a thing that can talk." And it was done. I'd opened up to my father more in that 20 minutes than I had in the past 4 years, more then that, even...

   My father cleared his thoat,"He's good to you? This Arthur?" He asked slowly. I nodded,and he sighed before standing. "If your hoping for my blessing to leave Alexander for this man, I dont see how I can simply do that." He looked into the fire as my head hung low in disappointment...all that...for a 'no'. "...but, if you were to sneak out sometimes when you visit me to see this man and get to know him further...well, I wouldn't even know about that." He said, looking at me as the smallest smile tugged at his lips. "Who knows if you two decide you love each other, I may just want to meet the young man." I lept from my chair as I hugged my father, overjoyed. "You mean, you'd want to meet him?! But I thought you wanted me to stay with Alexander? ...since he has money...," I pulled back to give him a confused look. "You've...reminded me how I felt when I was with your mother. Neither she nor I were wealthy when we met. We had to earn the lives we had, but I loved her more than the stars as she loved me...when she passed...I...I didn't know how to go on without her. I focused so much on how I'd lost my wife that I didn't even stop to reflect how you had lost your mother...," he took a deep breath. Was he...was he tearing up?

   "I failed you as a father, it's all I've thought about in your absence, but I will not let your marriage end in pain as mine did. Your mother and I were at least happy, I know she'd want the same for you." He hugged me close and we stayed like this, it was like when I was a child again. Cuddled up with my father in his huge chair while my mother knitted with that super soft wool by the fire place. She made me the prettiest hats, scarfs, and sometimes even stuffed animals for special occasions. She was brighter and warmer than fire, and softer than the wool she crafted with. And as my father and I watched the flames dance and lick the red and black logs I swear that for a split second, I was 7 again and I could see my mother sat on the rug with her baskets of yarn. I could see my father just next to me smoking a pipe.

   I don't remember exactly when we went to bed, just that when we did my father told me he'd have a coachman take me anywhere I wanted to go tomorrow. I was more than happy, and for the first time (finally!) I got some decent sleep. I drempt again of Arthur. He was sitting on a porch somewhere near a forest. He was smoking a cigar as I came up to him and sat in a chair beside him. The whole world seemed to be lit by the golden light of the sun and I swore I could see a doe and her fawn in the woods beyond the house.

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   I woke up and, like a child on Christmas, jumped up from under my covers. I found a fairly common looking dress, remembering no one but Arthur, Hosea, and Dutch knew of my more high standing statuse, and did up my makeup and hair. I was going to see Arthur today, finally! What would I do when I did though? Hug him? Would that be okay? Or kiss him? No, perhaps he'd think I was going to fast...shaking his hand would just be strange in all regards. Perhaps, just this once, I'll let him take the lead when he sees me. I used a heavy coat of concealer to hide the bruises but it didnt do much...I'd have to wear that God awful hat again...

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  I was greeted by my father at the front door. He gave me a nod as one of the servants opened the door for us to walk out. "Do you think he will react negatively to your...bruises?" My father asks me as we walk down the stone stairs towards a small carriage. Looks like it had rained last night...I hadn't thought about what Arthurs reaction might be...I sighed. "I  hope he doesn't notice it or at least if he does he'll be calm. I'll explain to him that if we play our cards right...perhaps I won't be with Alexander all that longer. My father nods. "If you know for certain he is a man you intend to leave your entire life for...than I will first like to meet him. After that I will inform Alexander of your 'treachery' and how you've run away from me and taken some money to be with him. Perhaps you will be able to visit me again once the heat has died down."

   I looked at him, he'd thought about a plan to get me away from Alexander...I hugged him tightly  before getting in the carriage. Before I shut the door I looked at him and told him,"For the record...you didn't fail me as a father, in fact...you're the best one I could have ever hoped for." With a nod and a smile from him I heard the reins snap softly as the carriage rode forward, away from the manor.
  

 Word Count: 1369