Secret diary crush✒︎♡ | Yeonbin

Ch.02: questionable choices

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"Is this my karma for flirting with him knowing he wasn't into it???"

Yeonjun is in his room overthinking, it been almost an hour and a half

"If I don't flirt with him from now on will I lose these feelings??"
"If so will that make moa think something happened between us??"

Yeonjun is debating

"I can't keep flirting with him now it feels I'm taking advantage of him.. cause he doesn't know that i.."

yeonjun couldn't finish his sentence, he felt guilty

"I hate this why do i suddenly like him.. like of course he's a really good looking guy and hard working person and always try his best to comfort our members, even when he's felt pressured by being the Leader but still did his best for us.."

yeonjun is thinking about his reason for his feelings

"Though He's quiet and isn't the bravest type but he doesn't hesitate to call someone out when they were being rude to our members, and when I couldn't even defend myself.. I'm thankful to him"

Yeonjun is appreciating the thoughtful gesture as he can't help but feel warmth thinking about it

But still He didn't want his relationship with soobin to change cause of him.
"I should get rid of this feelings quickly so everything can be better for both our relationship and for moa  I don't want my feelings to get in the way of our career, so for now I'll ignore it.."

Its the only option yeonjun seem to able to picked, he didn't know what else to do. He lean to his bed and grab the diary under the pillow out then placing it on the bed. He then got up, went to his desk, he's hand's stutter to pick up which pen but grab the one he rarely used

quickly he went to sat on the floor and open the diary, as he flip through the page of his past feelings and thoughts, he flip to a blank page. staring at it for a few seconds, he took a deep breath and began writing with a slight frowned but calmer look on his face.

———

"I, Choi yeonjun is in love my group leader, choi soobin, yeah crazy isn't it?! but I will not let this get in the way of our current relationship and so I will ignored this feelings!!

"It's not the best option but its the only option. unnecessary feelings should be left behind, cause I don't want it to get in the way of our career..ㅠㅠ

"I don't want him to be uncomfortable cause of my feelings so I'll try to distance myself with him till my feelings go away.

"I can just take it as another challenge or obstacle in my life, and if I don't beat it-

"no more delicious food. actually no not that. that's too cruel.. it's GOD CAN STRIKE ME AND MY CAREER."
—YJ
———

Yeonjun exhaled, writing his thoughts down makes him less stressed, it get his brain organized, he felt a lot better now. He smiled softly as he pick up his diary and look at it, rereading it over and over.

As much as he feel better and motivated then before, Yeonjun know that avoiding soobin isn't the best option, but it's the only option, and if it'll make his feeling go away, he'll do anything.

he didn't want soobin to be uncomfortable with him, so this is all for his own good. It's better if he never knew he like him, or found out about it then having to deal with it for as long as they're together in their careers.