His Tutor

16: My Weakness

Ishqi pov

My feet won't move no matter how much I try. It's cemented to the ground, slowing sinking into it like it's plunged into quicksand. My heart sinks with it too.

Vamika and Ahaan are surrounded by a huge flood of people, staring amazed and excited as Vamika asks Ahaan to go to the Winter Formal with her. Vamika has never been one to make the first move since guts naturally flock to her, so it's no wonder why people are so shocked by this. Not to mention, they're the couple everyone has been expecting for the entire year.

My nose burns like when I accidentally sniffed pool water into my nostrils as a kid. It tingles and burns, crawling up into the inner corners of my eyes and I'm forced to blink back the salt. My chest doesn't even rise from my huffs of air, making me wonder if I'm even breathing. My heads become shady and heavy, the sound of a radio without signal forces it's way tint my head and vibrates my ear drums from inside. Why am I like this?

I take out my phone and scroll through Sunday's text messages and read over Vamika's text one again for hundredth time.

Vamika: Hey, I'm sorry about everything. Do you think we can just make up and be friends?

Me: Yeah, of course. You shouldn't be sorry. Everything was my fault.

Vamika: Yeah, but I had some responsibility too. I should've just asked Ahaan out myself. So, I'm going to Monday.

Ouch. So it is my fault. I blamed myself, but knowing Vamika thought the same, stung.

Me: Okay.

I'm not as relieved as I thought I would be. This was what I wanted, for Vamika to forgive me and for her to be able to get with Ahaan. But, my chest feels like it had giant rubber bands constricting it. A foreign feeling of indignation started to rise from me. For once, I feel a slight tinge of anger towards her. I force myself to suppress it and pretend I'm okay with everything.

The crowd roars as Ahaan accepts, his voice so quiet I'm surprised anyone could hear. My heart drops to the ground and the quicksand, without hesitation, swallows it whole. Vamika dives in to hug him, his arms in the air, not knowing what to do with them. His eyes meet mine through the sea of students, and I plaster a fake smile onto my face. He smiles back, him arms dropping limply to his sides. Vamika pulls away confused why Ahaan didn't hug her back. She follows his gaze and lands on me. Before a scowl can grow onto her face, I smile her at and leave in the other direction.

The snow forced me to sit inside for lunch. I regret it. Freezing in the snow for thirty minutes couldn't have possibly been worse than this.

After school, I have to trudge through a foot of snow, lots of it getting into my shoes and soaking my socks in icy water. With every step I can hear the crackling of snow under my shoes and the squishing of my damp socks. Ahaan's car crawls up on the side of the rode, stopping a few yards ahead of me and his window rolls down.

"Why didn't you wait for me?" Ahaan asks, poking his head out.

"Don't you have track practice?"

"No, its Winter. The season's already over."

"Oh..."

"I thought we established that I drive you home every day. Plus, you still have to tutor me."

"You don't need help with math anymore."

"I need help with biology."

"I suck at biology."

"You have an A in the class."

"Fine," I cave, partly because my feet are freezing, but mainly due to an urge I can't pin-point. Once I saw Ahaan, I just wanted to stay and talk with him. If I didn't, I probably would regret it for the rest of the day.