Never Say Never

Chapter 2

 "It seems to be just a case of the common cold," Aly told the worried mother. "Dr. Wilson said she just needs rest and to make sure she drinks lots of fluids. She should be back to herself within a few days."

"Thanks. I know I'm probably being silly rushing her in here but she kept waking up last night, crying, and I'm all alone. I've just been exhausted having to do everything on my own. It's been so hard. And with her not feeling well, neither of us have gotten much sleep the last few days. My husband's in the Air Force and he's currently deployed and we don't know when he's going to get to come back home and my parents live three hundred miles away."

Deep breath in, deep breath out. Let the feeling come. Acknowledge the feeling and then move forward. Aly closed her eyes for a moment, centering herself, not letting this one burrow too far in before she forced it back. Maybe she wasn't supposed to push them away but sometimes it was necessary. Like now. She couldn't be the nurse who assured the nervous mother if she was busy trying to find three things to look at, smell, and move. It wasn't reassuring to have your medical professional falling apart in front of you.

Pressing her index finger to her thumb, she allowed herself to feel the sensation, to know she was here. She wasn't back there. No one was waiting on the other side of the door to give her the news that would send a wrecking ball through the middle of her life, destroying and altering it forever. She was strong. She was handling it. She was moving forward. Opening her eyes, she put on her best smile.

"Of course. I can't imagine how challenging that must be for you." Actually, she could, but this was not the time or place to share her own story. This was the time to be an empathetic ear, to listen to her patient. It was not the time to unpack her own trauma or make this about herself. "Please, no need to apologize. You call us whenever you need to. It's always better to be safe than sorry."

The mother thanked her, lifting her three year old into her arms. Aly directed her which way to go. Parents often got a bit turned around in this place, the hallways like a maze to the various exam rooms, like a figure eight. This practice was a thriving one, one that kept her very busy, her days packed with back-to-back appointments. But she preferred it that way. It made her days go faster.

After she finished college with her Bachelor's of Science in nursing, Aly had immediately gotten a job at the local hospital. She'd loved it. The hours were long and she was exhausted all the time but it had been fast-paced and so rewarding. However, it had also been heartbreaking as some children who came into the hospital were there to stay and would never again leave. They would never get tucked into their own bed again, never run through their own backyard again, never sit on the floor of their living room on a Saturday morning eating cereal while watching cartoons again. The job had not just been physically exhausting but mentally and emotionally exhausting as well.

After she'd found out she was expecting Eli, Justin had suggested that maybe she needed something a bit more predictable. It would be hard for her to work twelve hour shifts with a baby at home. It would be even harder to watch children suffer, watch parents in the darkest moments of their lives, when she had a little one at home. Aly wasn't sure how she could face that kind of heartbreak and then go home to her own child, hoping it never happened to them.

Still, she wouldn't have given it up if it weren't for Justin being in the military. With his job, he would often be gone for months at a time, leaving her alone. It hadn't been a problem before but with her parents living across the country and his parents more than three hours away, they were limited when it came to help. So, she'd applied to the new local pediatrician's office, delighted when she got a call that same week, inviting her in for an interview.

She'd been there ever since, watching as Dr. Wilson's practice grew. He was young, just a bit older than her, and new to the job but his warm demeanor and empathetic ear quickly had every mom in town bringing their child to him. It probably didn't hurt that he was pretty damn good looking too.