Little Lady Briana

14 Big Girl's Apology Tour

Briana tugged on a pullup before working tights up her legs and over her slim padding. Though it was big girl time, Alanna sat staring at her on the bed. Little Briana would have put her stuffed lioness there for advice – Big Briana was aware that she mainly used Alanna as a metaphor for her conscience. Big or Little, conscience or lioness, Briana knew she was in trouble. There was no begging or being cute to escape the situation either, because she was in trouble with herself.

With a sigh, Briana went over her disastrous playdate in her mind. The afternoon had started completely magically. It could have stayed that way, too, if she'd only remembered to talk to her boyfriend and girl-that-hopefully-was-becoming-a-girlfriend. Littleness was no excuse for forgetting something so important. She hadn't forgotten about Christmas for an instant after Thanksgiving, nor had she ever forgotten to worry about Melody when her sib had been in trouble with Beatrix.

If Briana had been Little, her lioness would have said some very stern things to her as she put on a black sweater with sparkly batwings sewn on. Being Big, she told them to herself. I hurt my new friend Ava by putting her in a scary situation without asking her. I hurt Gary's heart by treating him like he would be OK with anything I decided.

Looking in her mirror, Briana carefully applied black eyeliner and smoky eye-shadow. She painted on black lipstick – then liberally patted glitter into her eye shadow and across her lips. Though she packed her bags with microbiology notes and a laptop, she was still Little enough to salute Alanna with a fist over her heart.

I'm going to do better. I will be more like Mom and make everybody proud—especially the Alanna part of me.

Briana skipped downstairs to the kitchen and presented herself to her mom for inspection. Veronica's eyebrows twitched upwards to see her Little girl clad in black from head to toe. Before she said anything, Mom straightened Briana's pleated skirt's waistline and ensured her pullup was adequately tucked away.

"You've been wearing darker colors, but this is the first time I've seen you in black lipstick since we dressed you up at The Black Veil. What's the occasion, sweetie?"

"I want to be more like you, Mom." As always, Briana got a burst of warm fuzzes in her heart from calling Veronica – Mom. The best part was that it worked for both Big and Little Briana. Veronica was Mom in the Big and Little peoples' worlds.

"Briana, that's very sweet, but you prefer bright colors. You can be like me without dressing like me."

"I know! I want to be like you in the not-dressing way. My outfit and makeup are reminders to be a better girl. To be like my Mom and always do the right thing."

"Baby bee." Veronica sighed, dabbing at her eyes with a black silk handkerchief. "I'm proud of you. So proud of my strong, loving daughter."

Briana also had to dab her eyes, remembering to grab a napkin off the kitchen table at the last minute rather than disastrously rubbing her made-up eyes. Veronica pulled Briana in for a cuddly hug and a kiss atop her head as soon as they were both composed enough not to have to redo their makeup.

"I like your outfit too. I'm glad you still have some sparkly touches to it."

"Don't worry, Mom. I won't lose my sparkles." Briana planted a careful kiss on her Mom's cheek. "I've got to catch the bus. I love you, Mommy!"

"I love you too, Baby Bee." Veronica followed Briana as far as the kitchen door, fondly watching the Little girl until she was out the front door.

~~~*~~~

Knocking on Gary's office door was scary. The hustle and bustle of undergraduates around Briana wasn't the source of her nervousness – she blended in perfectly, looking like just another undergraduate knocking on the door of a TA's office. Briana's fears were validated when Gary opened his door. Upon seeing Briana, Gary got a little sadder. It was devastating for a girl who was used to seeing delight on her boyfriend's face when she arrived.