I Think

The End of Me

Sometimes, out of nowhere,

I hear music playing as if for me,

As if I were in a movie;

Where am I?

Sometimes, out of nowhere,

I hear people calling my name,

And then they think I'm crazy;

Who am I?

Sometimes, out of nowhere,

I hear people congratulating me,

But of course it's imaginary;

What time is it again?

I think by now this is the end of my life,

I've had thirteen years to live,

It's good enough now.

If you want, I can leave right now,

Though I've still got so much left to do here.

I've disconnected myself from my brain,

But my heart is still wired up.

I get tired because I go to bed later than I should,

And then I wake up.

My own mind is a slave of itself,

Being overworked and underpaid;

The sales haven't been great.

My other friend is contemplating death,

And I think it's rubbing off on me but

Little do they know I've been through it before,

But they still think I'm new to this planet.

I think I'd like to sign off on here now,

So if you could take me, that would be great;

I don't want to be responsible

For murder.

I'm ready now,

Not actually though.

Five more minutes?

Though I think I felt ready

A lifetime ago.

But I think this is the end of me;

But wait!

There's one more aspect I can think to it,

Life really isn't as simple as I would hope.

Everyone surrounding me,

Just think of all the money,

All the things they spent on me.

Energy, Dopamine, precious seconds of their heart beating.

Maybe I don't want mine to stop just yet;

So then I live for other people.

The strangers that surround me.

Maybe they'll never know who I am,

But I know them and that's all that matters;

I need to start keeping secrets.

I need to start living longer.

I want to help my friend reach the top and keep climbing the mountain.

It's not that difficult,

To stay up late.

To be a human.

It's a little bit difficult

To live a little longer.

I have so many more books to write.

And poems to share!

But I guess that's on me for thinking otherwise.

Is it my fault?

Am I the one to blame for my death?

Or maybe it's everyone else's fault;

Maybe they weren't good enough.

Or maybe I'll just never be good enough;

I'll just have to wait and see.

Or maybe not...

But no.

I can ask another if I am good enough;

Perhaps you, love...

No, not you, love...

I'm sorry, love.