𝙉𝙊 𝙎𝙏𝙍𝙄𝙉𝙂𝙎 𝘼𝙏𝙏𝘼𝘾𝙃𝙀𝘿 .

1 .

i sigh, quickly getting off the bed and slipping on my hoodie that has "yale" on it, and some pj pants.

i glance back at frank whos panting harshly, and has yet to compose himself.

his eyes are shut as he breathes in and out shakily.

i get off the bed, sliding on my slippers before leaving.

as i step out into the dorms' hallway, i glance down at my phone to check the time. its almost 4 in the morning, and i came over around 2.

i quickly make my way back to my dorm, closing the door softly and as quiet as i can so my roommates don't wake up and interrogate me.

i open my door, kicking off my shoes on my side of the room, and plopping onto my bed afterwards.

my legs feel tingly and shaky, still recovering from frank.

suddenly, a lamp turns on and my head snaps towards it, only to find f/n sitting up against the wall on her bed.

"what made you leave at 2 in the morning and took you 2 hours?" she crosses her arms.

i take note of the exhaustion in her eyes, and the part of her skin under her eyes thats barely darker than the rest.

"why did you stay up?" i ask in the softest tone i can, yet theres a hint of curiosity.

"i wanted to make sure you got back safe at least." she mumbles, looking off to the distance as she pretends not to give a fuck about my wellbeing.

i smile and get off my bed, laying right next to her as she sits down.

i use my hand to prop up the side of my face as i stare at her. "f/n, what you said isnt proving that you dont care about me." i smile smugly.

"shut the hell up. but in all seriousness, where'd you go?" she lets her arms fall on her lap.

"i went to go get some mcdonalds and i just sat in the parking lot for like a bit and before i knew it, it was already 4." i lie out of my ass like ive done since i started seeing frank.

which was 4 months ago.

i feel some sort of guilt when she genuinely believes me. the way lying started coming easily to me after multiple times of doing it is kinda concerning.

"but i hate you for not bringing any!" she continues.

i give her a confused look until i remember that ive been tuning her out for the past 10 minutes. "sorry, maybe next time.. but i should really get to sleep now, i got classes in the afternoon." i get off the bed and stretch, heading to my own.

she turns off the lamp the second i reach my bed and we lay in silence for a few minutes, until i can hear her lightly snoring.

my body tosses and turns before i eventually end up staring at the ceiling.

its been 4 months.

4 months since we met at a welcoming frat party.

the night is blurry in my mind, but i distantly remember him pounding into me like there was no tomorrow.

how he groaned and his soft sighs.

how his touch felt against my skin.

i was on fucking cloud 9. every time we hook up i swear, i am.

and then, we exchanged numbers a few weeks later.. since we coincidentally bumped into each other on campus.

and after that, he'd text me at random times asking to link.

obviously i had to say yes.

i dont even notice myself smiling as my thoughts wander off.

and how just a few weeks ago i found out he had a girlfriend, but i never brought it up since this is a no feeling thing anyways, and honestly, i really dont give a fuck about his love life.

thank God we aren't dating, though.

i know he'd never be loyal either way, its clear since we're fucking while he has a girlfriend of a year.

i lay on my side, facing f/n's side of the room, where shes also laying on her side but facing the wall.

im a bit surprised she believes me every time. theres no way she doesn't think somethings off.

but f/ns the type to not say anything even if she believes something is up.

she keeps her own secrets, too. she keeps her personal life private.

how would she feel if she knew i was fucking her brother?

another one of her secrets she didn't tell me about. something i had to find out on my own, when we all hung out which was.. awkward.

i sigh heavily, finally shutting my eyes.

i walk out my Ecology class, shutting my macbook and slinging it in my tote bag.

out the corner of my eye, i see f/n, frank, maddy, and a few other people standing together as they talk.

i walk over to f/n and franks eyes immediately meet mine.

"oh heyyy y/nnn!" maddy smiles at me, her arm wrapped around franks neck, his on her waist.

"hey." i give her a smile back.

the group converses which i join in a few times, until i check my phone to see the time.

its almost about to be 2, and i havent ate yet.

i say my goodbyes quickly, going out into the parking lot to try to find my car.

once i finally spot it, i walk over and get in.

since Connecticut is a small town, i quickly learned my way around, the best spots to eat, party, etc..

i finally reach the closest chick fil a and drive through the drive thru.

i park in the parking lot, grabbing the fries first along with the chick fil a sauce. swear that shit is heaven sent.

i eat until i feel full, sighing heavily as the food makes its way down my throat.

i open up instagram and tap on my note, changing it to, "chick fil a will never not hit"

once im done with that i scroll through reels even though it feels like an eternity.

suddenly, i get a notification from messages and its from frank

"usual time?" it reads.

i quickly click on it and reply, "sure"

he reads it fast, like he usually does.

i close off the app, glancing down at the clock in my car.

3:21 pm