it is this every moment we are found

as the sun

she is a goddess in jeans and a white top

digging in the dirt,

planting new life,

nourishing the soil,

finding joy in the repose of the day

her face lifts to bask in the warmth of the day

and i watch her mud-smeared face being kissed by the sun

it is the way i want to kiss her

 ...the way that i hope to kiss her

when the time presents itself

i pay close attention to the glow that radiates off of her olive skin

and the dew as it licks at her neck

i watch as the droplets trace their way down her body

and long to make her skin flush and glow in the same way

when i can finally step out with her in the midst of the day

my mind wanders to the moments

that will inevitably become a lifetime of collective memory

of images and shared emotions

that cannot be extricated from our beings

it moves to the moments

when we will have shared the deepest parts of ourselves

and told each other all of the things we held sacred,

but,

knowing that nothing would be more sacred

than our love for each other,

had to be given away to make us both whole

i wait for the moment at the end of our lives

when we look back

without being able to remember a life apart

i would lay down every last dollar,

 every convenience,

my very life,

to have one second to taste her

like the sunshine tastes her skin

but i will not be reckless with her happiness

that life,

the one i dream of, 

 the one with her 

and the promise of the sunshine,

isn't free,

it costs more for her than I am willing to sacrifice

for now...

i am not free to sit beside her in the sun

or hold her hand on the crowded street

or run my fingers through her honey hair

or whisper in her ear all of the things that my heart wishes to say

today, i will be satisfied to stay in the shadow of the willow tree

and watch the wind tousle her hair

as the warmth of the day brings color to her cheeks

and imagine the day when I can surround her

in my love

as the sun has the great honor of doing