The Meaning of my Tattoos

Hey again y'all, this isn't as much of a deep and emotional post as the previous ones. I've been hitting those rough stories quite a bit for the last couple of weeks and I didn't realize the amount of energy it was taking out of me. So this is a bit lighter, and it's exactly what the title says. There's a couple names that I'm not going to share, but I will share the explanation of each, enjoy.

I was raised in one of those families that believed in you got a tattoo in a visible spot on your body, you wouldn't be able to get certain jobs because of how "unprofessional" you'd look. A pretty common view in the 2000's, but when I was 18, I was a pretty dumb kid. I thought I was in love, and in all truth, I probably was. That was the first girl l had ever dated, my longest relationship to date, actually. I feel the judgement coming already haha, we were together for 9 months straight, broke up for a couple of weeks, then got back together for 2 months. I call it 11 months, even if it was a technicality. I knew I wanted a tattoo, but I didn't know what to get.. I bet you can guess where I'm going with this..

I had carved our initials in a tree, not with a knife, with a chisel. This carving was big, and it was right in the middle of a fork in a road. I don't know that I want to talk much about the relationship here, it could honestly be an entire post in itself. But this girl had some medical issues throughout our time in high school. She was in and out of the hospital a lot, and it was me showing her that I'd always be there for her. And I was, but after I graduated, we drifted. I wanted to go be an 'adult' and go to clubs, and go out partying, and experience all of the things I had to wait for. She was still in school though, it wasn't hard to see that resentment coming through. It was a tough break up, so tough that we got back together just to do it all over again. Haha, but really.. that sucked, and she dated a close friend of mine afterward, another reason I felt I needed to get out of my hometown.

You've seen the ghillie suit on my ribs, but before that, there was a heart carved into tree bark there. I was one of the dumb ones that got a tattoo for a girl at 18. I don't regret it, but I don't think I'd do it again. That girl does still mean something to me, our families are still friends and she's been through a lot, but we'd be there for each other if one of us needed it, I believe that.

Tattoo number 2, and I'm just going to go in chronological order, it on my left arm, the cross. This and the next one were meant to be reminders. I thought I was religious then, but those weren't the views I had established for myself, they were the ones I had carried from growing up. The cross has a sash wrapped around it with the words, "In God We Trust & Believe," they're words out of a Brantley Gilbert song, not verbatim, my tattoo artist said the grammar was incorrect if we used the actual quote, so we altered it a little bit. This is probably my least meaningful tattoo now, but we'll come back to summarize things at the end.

Tattoo number 3 is underneath the cowboy hat and skull on my chest. Yes, two of my early tattoos were covered, not mistakes, I've just changed over time. Right before I went to basic training, I got the word "FEARLESS" tattooed on my chest. Basic tattoo, yes I know. It was a reminder, not a statement. A reminder to me that I didn't need to be scared of what was ahead of my because of what was already behind me. And I tried to changed everything about myself when I graduated high school, I didn't want to be that kid. I wanted to be a confident, badass soldier, the persona I thought people would want me to be.

Tattoo number 4, and all the rest, are the ones you see. This one was not the smartest timing, but I've never felt more at home with a unit in the military. I graduated airborne school after basic training, it sounds cool, but I promise that only the last week was fun.. the time we actually got to jump out of the planes. It's not like skydiving, instead you jump out the side of the plane while it's passing over a drop zone. If you don't get enough clearance, you hit your head on the way out, if you don't tuck your chin to your chest, the metal pieces on your risers will hit you on the way out, if your static line doesn't come out, you're going for a ride on the side of the plane until the jumpmaster cuts your cord. And then there's always the chance of your chute not opening at all, but at least we had reserves. We don't even do combat jumps anymore, they're unrealistic, but I wanted the school badge on my uniform. And after I got my orders to Italy, I was that Private that had their unit insignia tattooed on their back.. without even making it to the unit yet. Fortunately, I did eventually make it to that unit, otherwise, that would've been pretty embarrassing.