Won't Roux Be My Neighbor

The Baby-Bitters Club

It took a pause in her playlist as it transitioned to the next song for Louise to hear the knocking.

She recognized the knuckles hitting against her apartment door the same way one recognized the pattern of footsteps on stairs, and she pulled down her clunky headphones to greet Tina.

"Hey Tin-" No sooner had she opened the door than a rag was thrown over her face. Louise pulled the cloth down to her shoulder, bewildered.

Tina stood in a plum dress and cardigan with her two children, Ava in one of those things that snaps onto a car seat and Griffin on her hip. If not for the barely concealed bags under her eyes, Louise might have thought Tina looked suspiciously put together for a new-ish mom.

While they stood there staring at each other, Louise's headphones let out a string of profanity from a child-unfriendly song. The Mom Eyes were coming in nicely, as Tina's disapproving stare forced Louise to remove the headphones from her neck and set them aside.

Coming back to the doorway, Louise cleared her throat to ask if she missed a text, but Tina beat her to the punch.

"Hey, can you hold this for me?" Tina asked, leaning Griffin over to Louise.

"Your... son?" Confusion evident, Louise still took hold of the one-year-old. Or was it something teen months? Louise tended to tune out the month garbage.

"Great, and how about this one too," Tina continued as though Louise hadn't spoken. She put the handle of the baby carrier in Louise's hand, squeezing to make sure the grip was secure.

"T, what's-"

"Perfect. Everything you need is in this bag," Tina kicked the diaper bag at their feet, "and read the note. Okay, that should be it, gottagothanksbye."

"Wait, Tina, no," Louise juggled the child on her hip, watching with panicked eyes as Tina kept moving, not looking back. "I can't- where are you going? Ti- no, Tina, come back! My apartment isn't baby-proofed, Tina! This is very irresponsible! And that's coming from ME! Tina!!"

Louise's cries for help fell on deaf ears, as her sister fled the building like it was on fire.

Well, not entirely deaf ears.

The door to the apartment across the hall opened and an annoying blond head poked out.

"Heyyy, so I know you're unfamiliar with the concept, but do you think we could try using our inside voices today? I'm trying to relax over here," Logan said, as he waved a chicken wing at her then disappeared back into his own apartment.

She gaped at him, gaped at the empty hall Tina went down, gaped at the children in her arms.

Too flabbergasted by Tina's manipulation, Louise didn't even challenge her rival and neighbor. Instead, she brought the kids into her apartment, setting Ava's seat on the couch and keeping a hold of Griffin. When she dragged the diaper bag across the threshold, she spotted a white envelope taped to the top.

Opening it, she read:

Louise, by the time you read this, I will already be gone.

"Yeah, no shit," Louise said then cringed as she remembered Tina's no cursing rule.

You might be a little confused during this time. I was too when I snapped to awareness about an hour ago and realized I haven't been out on a nice date since Ava was born.

I'm sorry I didn't prepare you more, but I knew you would say no. This was my only option. Mom and Dad are still in Florida, and Gene is ... Gene. No hard feelings though, right? I love you.