Won't Roux Be My Neighbor

Thirty, Flirty, and Icing

With her head caught in overflowing shrubbery and shoe drenched by the damn train fountain, Louise concluded she was having a terrible day.

It started with a phone call.

Though she would deny it to anyone and everyone listening, Louise wanted to know what happened at the restaurant even when she wasn't there. Blah blah work-life balance blah, that was her home. Basically a loved one. So sue her, she liked checking in on her loved ones. However, Louise worked more than one job, so the family routinely banned her from visiting in the name of "taking a break."

"Inherited the Bob Burnout" her ass. They just didn't want her in there showing them all up constantly.

Rules held very little meaning for her though. If Louise wanted something, she would get it. The solution came in the form of one gullible older sister.

She passed it off as wanting to help Tina kill time, it was pretty slow in the mornings after all, and like clockwork called at 11am on her "banned" days. They caught up, Louise heard about the goings on at the restaurant, win-win.

Except this time Tina actually had news.

"So after all that, they're done." Louise heard Tina twirl the corded phone once and let it spring away for emphasis. "Jessica and Maya finally adopted their little boy."

Halting the mindless walk around her apartment, Louise moved to the coffee table, grabbing a scrap of discarded junk mail and pen to jot a quick note to send the couple a gift. They had been waiting for what felt like years for the adoption to go through, and Louise double-underlined that she needed to ship them something good. Something that would say "actually, I'm the best ex-girlfriend-turned-friend you ever had because I send better presents." She set the pen down and hummed.

"Should I redownload FamilyCamily just to say congrats?"

"You don't have to. I already commented on her FamCamBam-that's what they call albums now-that the Belchers send their love."

"You're a real one, T," Louise said, plopping down onto the sofa. "Although you should have said we send our regards. All Game of Thrones style, you know?"

"Louise."

"What, I'm just kidding." She readjusted, laying down and letting her feet kick over one of the couch's arms. "Maybe. Kids can be a death sentence."

"Louise!"

"I mean, I'm happy for her! I love her and wish her the best always, but I don't know why you'd sign up for that long haul commitment."

Tina sighed on the other end of the line, a slight crackling echoing in her ear. They had this conversation before, and both were pretty firm on their stance. One saw parenthood as a blessing, and the other... didn't.

Rather than get into it, Louise heard Tina decide to switch gears, clearing her throat and everything.

"Actually, Rudy stopped by a little bit ago to talk with Zeke. They're trying for another kid too."

"Rudy and Zeke?"

"No, Rudy and Kaylee. His wife. The one he's married to?"

"Yeah yeah, I know who Kaylee is," Louise snorted. Messing with Tina was too easy sometimes. It took a few more seconds before what she had said clicked. "You know that's too much information, right? You basically just told me 'oh Rudy's having a ton of unprotected sex,' and I don't need to know that."

"You seemed okay knowing when Zeke and I were trying for Ava," Tina defended in a rush.

"The operative word is SEEMED. I'm happy that you're happy, but still. Sick."