Won't Roux Be My Neighbor

Pie v. Cake

"I can't believe we're even still talking about this, you blonde bimbo! Pass me the red."

"YOU can't believe it?" Logan asked, scooping up the small pile of red puzzle pieces and handing them over. "I mean, I knew you were bad news, but I can't believe I've been living next to such a godless heathen for so long."

Louise groaned as she sifted through the pieces and started on the next area.

"If you don't shut your-"

"OH what were you gonna say?? Was it pie-hole? Because pie is ingrained in our lexicon and the better dessert?"

"Look me in the eye, Bush." Louise glared and pointed at herself with two fingers. "Look me in the eye and tell me you have never referred to ass as cake."

-

The elevator's ding announcing her arrival, an elderly woman emerged from the glinting metal doors. She glided into the lobby wearing her Sunday best, a monochromatic sunflower yellow dress with a matching blazer and big hat. Against the industrial furniture and decor, she stood out as the epitome of exuberant style. Not that either of the two knuckleheads doing a puzzle on the coffee table took notice.

"Now what do we have here?" Mrs. Winnifred asked when she reached the front desk, pointing to the lounge area where the two continued their uninterrupted quarrel.

Nadia, the desk attendant, popped a handful of sour candy in her mouth but continued to talk through the gummies.

"Mmm, Logan and Louise debate heating up. I bet this one goes as long as the 'water is wet' fight."

"Let's hope not. I have family visiting next week." Winnie set her purse down on the desk and sniffed. "And I've accepted that you won't take all that metal out of your face, but please don't chew with your mouth open, baby. It's impolite."

"But Moooom~" Nadia joked then shut her mouth in apology. She couldn't resist a subtle wiggle of her septum piercing though.

Winnie gave her one good, stern nod then looked over to the lounge again.

"And the puzzle?"

"That's all Ms. McFee. She said if they finish it in under two hours she'll give them fifty bucks off their rent next month."

"Well," the older woman huffed, "you should tell Annie that hardly seems fair to the rest of us residents."

"It's rigged."

"Ah."

Nadia tilted the bag of sour candy into her mouth but found it empty save for the excess malic acid dust. Face puckering, she clicked her tongue and spoke through the cringe. "You... better take an umbrella if you're headed out. The cards said it would rain."

"The cards or the weather channel? I've got no patience for your devil magic today."

"Tarot isn't devil magic. It helped me prepare for this storm after all," Nadia said, recovering from her sour hangover and gesturing to Logan and Louise.

"Oh? And how's that?"

"I brought snacks!"

And she ripped open another bag of gummies she had hidden under the desk.

-

"Factoring out the icing, you-"

"You can't just FACTOR OUT the icing?!" Louise stared at him in dismay. "That's an essential part of cake! It's like taking the filling out of a pie."

They had already gone back and forth on the merits of cake and pie for the better part of an hour, yelling about tastes, flavors, and textures all without relenting work on the damn puzzle.