IN LOVE'S EMBRACE

CHAPTER 15: WHY SLEEP AROUND?

"You learn a lot about someone when you share a meal together"— Anthony Bourdain

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JOHN PIERCE

My eyes shut open and I groaned. I was directly facing the sun and it showed me no mercy as it shun brighter than ever. I felt a warm hand gently caresse my hair, I looked up and gaped at the beauty before me.

My head was laid on Alaine's lap as her hand softly made it's way through my hair, her eyes were fixated forward and her lower lip was hidden between her teeth. I watched as her pink lips parted and eyelashes fluttered, she truly was an angel in human form.

She looked down and I immediately shut my eyes, her fingers smoothly trailed round my face until one poked my cheek.

"I know you're awake" She whispered and I couldn't help the smirk that formed on my face

I groaned and sat up, I couldn't explain it but I felt lighter, like a huge burden had been lifted off me.

"I don't remember falling asleep" I stated and she smiled

"Well you fell asleep on my shoulders not too long ago, so I adjusted you to a more comfortable position" She replied

We grew silent after that and I knew she had something to say, so I patiently waited till she picked out the right words in her head.

"How do you feel?" She broke the silence

"Lighter yet incredibly troubled" I truthfully answered

We were no longer at the edge of the cliff, she had found a way to move us to a safer spot.

"Troubled?"

"Yeah troubled" She signalled for me to go on

"All my life I blamed God for my mom's death, she was one of his followers yet he let evil befall her. I blamed him for years as a coping mechanism, It helped me feel better about the whole thing. I'm troubled because despite all the things I've said and done to him, he still saved my life, I'm troubled because explaining my mom's story made me realize she was the architect of her own misfortune. God didn't hold her hands and force her to marry the man she once called her husband, she made that decision herself despite everyone's warning. I'm troubled because I feel I owe God an apology" I ranted

It took a while but I remembered the dream I had on the hospital bed. I didn't deserve to be healed but he still did it anyways, i couldn't even begin to doubt because the doctors themselves told me my healing was a miracle and I knew my healing wasn't ordinary.

"Then apologize to him" She softly replied

"Uhn?"

"God hears every word we speak, every thought we have, every muffled cry, he hears it all" She said with a smile and I scoffed

"Forget it, he probably doesn't want to hear from me. I've never spoken any kind word to him, so why would he listen?"

"Because he loves you and wants you back, he wouldn't have saved you if he wanted nothing to do with you, you and I know that" She answered and I sighed

I hadn't told anyone my dream because I couldn't fathom it either. I was having a hard time believing it yet I knew what I saw was true

"Why is he called Jehovah Rahpa?" I asked

"Because he's the greatest healer, the great physician. You of all people can relate" She replied with a smile

Thoughts after thoughts ran through my mind and my head began to hurt. Alaine gently placed her hand on mine and I froze, I let out a breath as she gave me a small smile.