Can't promise you the world, but... (A Rohit-Shreyas Fanfiction)

Chapter 15

The practice grounds burst into cheers when Shreyas and Rahul, who'd arrived at the team hotel late last night from the NCA and crashed in the same room, were spotted by Hardik, Shubman, Ishan and Virat.

"You're back! You're back!"

"Morning, Rahuliya, Shreya! How does it feel to see a real stadium after all the simulations?"

"Rahul bhai, I missed you! Sorry, you too, Shreyas bhai!"

"WELCOME BACK, MIDDLE ORDER!"

The last one was, of course, from Hardik.

Shreyas, who didn't remember the last time he'd laughed so hard, lifted his arms to accept the applause like political leaders did, bringing on more cheering. Rahul, uncomfortable as always with attention, melted into the crowd and was found talking to Rohit when the hooliganism had died down a bit.

As Jassi and Hardik fought about who'd bowl to Rahul first, Rohit waved at Shreyas with a smile.

Shreyas, still on a high from being made to feel like a special celebrity in a field-ful of celebrities, smiled back automatically before remembering he wasn't supposed to do that.

Rohit bhaiya might do his best to make it the hardest for Shreyas to remember that he couldn't be trusted, but Shreyas had to keep reminding himself. By now, it was more a knowledge--that he must not trust Rohit bhaiya--than a thought process. The incidents that had lead him to acquire that knowledge had faded into the background lately.

Plus, Rohit bhaiya had delayed the selection of the squad quite a whole bit...

That would have changed his thought process, but not the knowledge.

Shreyas made a beeline for the nets where Jaddu was taking a mock run-up just as Rohit took a step in his direction as if to approach him.

He wondered when he'd stop feeling like he'd burst into tears every time he turned away from Rohit bhaiya. At least these days he only wanted to cry, he didn't actually cry...like after his surgery.

Maybe his throat would stop closing up like this the day he'd be able to make himself believe that whatever he did didn't affect Rohit bhaiya, didn't hurt Rohit bhaiya at all. Maybe till he felt he was hurting Rohit bhaiya, he'd want to drop everything he was doing, shut himself up in a room and scream his heart out every time he turned away when Rohit bhaiya tried to be nice.

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"Why are you being such a wet blanket, Ro?" "Do you want a doughnut? A brownie? A muffin, then?" "You got the squad you wanted and it was an amazing first practice session, what's unsettling you?"

"Virat? Will you please shut up for a while?"

"Why?" asked Virat. "So you can lie in silence?"

"Yes."

"In such a mournful silence?" challenged Virat. "What happened to you? What happened to make you look like this?"

"Peace and quiet, Vi. Peace and quiet."

"Look, I already know the reason--"

 Rohit sighed and was out of the room before Virat could move a limb.

"If you know the reason, why do you even ask?" Virat heard him muttering resentfully.

_________________

When Rahul was going down for dinner, he saw Rohit standing in a corridor of the adjacent block of the hotel, fingers resting on the railing.

When he was returning nearly an hour back, because the first shared meal of their team after a very long time of course had to be never-ending, Rohit was standing in the same corridor, holding the same railing. The only difference in his posture was that now his chin was resting on his fingers.

Rahul frowned and crossed the courtyard to the other block. Rohit didn't look up till he stood right beside him.

"Hey, Rahul..."

"What are you trying to achieve?" Rahul demanded.

Rohit's eyebrows flew up.

"If you won't tell Shreyas off for being a brat, I will," said Rahul. "Someone needs to--to drive into his head that he can't get away with hurting people who love him anytime and everytime he wants."

"Oh, it's not like that, Rahuliya," said Rohit. "He's not being a brat any more than he always is--I'm not hurt--"

"There are days when you don't even realize you are hurt, Rohit bhaiya, because--"

Rohit noted the 'bhaiya' in Rahul's voice (part exasperation, part hurt), possibly the first time in Virat's absence, and wondered what to make of it.

"--you were too busy trying to make someone else--not guilty of hurting you or--of anything else."

Rohit was looking far into a distance when Rahul looked around. 

"Did you put it into Virat's thick head?"

"What?" asked Rahul.

"That he needs to poke me constantly to know what-got-me-unsettled?" 

Rohit had a fond smile on his face, but Rahul couldn't smile a bit.

"Hm," he said shortly. "I didn't trust him with this anyway."

"Really? Why?"

Rahul looked at Rohit for a moment too long.

"Er, Rahuliya?" said Rohit.

"You know, I see myself in you most of the time, Rohit," said Rahul.

Rohit covered his shock with a teasing, "Virat might die."

"Or he might realize why he loves me this much."

Rohit smiled, but it made him look wistful.

"I can see the things which you won't ever acknowledge--and I know it hurts you, what Shreyas has been doing," said Rahul, and went on in a rush, "Can you--can you talk to me about it, Ro? Surely you know how horrible it is when you see someone you love hurting and you can't do anything about it..."

Rohit needed a while to collect his thoughts.

"You know once my cricket became a serious thing, my parents sent me away to Mumbai to my grandparents?"

Rahul nodded. 

"It was my dad's decision--that I'd have a better shot at becoming a cricketer if I grew up away from my home. So I hardly remember any time from my childhood when I was warm with him. It was not that I didn't like him, but...I suppose I held it against him that he'd sent me away, even if it was for my own future. When he'd visit Mumbai, or when I'd visit home, he used to crave to make up for the time we were losing, and I could see that, and I tried doing the exact opposite things he wanted...deliberately. It's an easy punishment for people you love and who love you...

"But he didn't give up on me, Rahuliya. He never gave up on me, though I made it quite easy for him...you can't give up on people who have looked up to you once, even if at some point they refused to look at you the same..."

It made Rahul think of his own father. Then Virat. Then Rohit, too. 

He took his eyes off Rohit to somewhere in front because his eyes had started to prickle just slightly.

They were both silent for a bit.

"Is there something I can do apart from going and yelling at Yas?" asked Rahul.

"You're definitely not to go and yell at Yas," said Rohit wryly.

"Then can I do anything at all?"

"Don't grow up," said Rohit.

Now Rahul wanted to retort 'you should seriously stop playing this grandfather, Rohit', but he couldn't speak because he had to focus on not letting the intensifying prickling in his eyes betray him. 

Rohit removed his hands from the railing after possibly hours to give Rahul's shoulder an affectionate pat and walked towards the elevator.

"Eat before you sleep!" Rahul shouted after him.