The Commune

I. Alexandria.

Alex's POV

Two weeks. It's been two weeks since my beloved has left me. He promised me an eternity of blissful sappy romance, the kind of love you only witness on those corny hallmark movies that you cringe at but secretly long for.

Yeah, I had that.

And now it's all gone. I'd do anything to get it back, but I can't. Nothing will bring him back to me.

No matter how hard I try, I can never rewind the time. If only I had known our last goodbye would truly be our last goodbye.

I wish he never got on that damn plane.

I wish that I would've went with him, so that at least we would've been together.

Maybe that sounds fucked up, but I don't care. I loved him, and he loved me, and we were happy. It was the happiest I'd ever been.

And sure, when things like this happen when you're as young as I am, the natural response from other people is to tell you things like 'you'll be okay' and remind you that you've still got your whole life ahead of you. But I don't want to live a life without him, I don't ever see myself being okay after this, not truly anyway.

Though I suppose it was pretty foolish of me to delude myself into thinking we could have forever, surely it was bound to end at some point.

But not this soon, not like this.

May you rest in peace Gwen Walker, the best boyfriend a girl could ever ask for. I will always love you.

Rest in peace to my other half. In all my 20 years of life I have never felt so empty.

Maybe I'm being dramatic. Maybe with time, I could get past this somehow. Maybe even meet someone who makes me feel even half as whole as Gwen did.

But none of that is certain. All I know for sure is that I was lucky and blessed enough to have found a love that completed me so once in this lifetime. I don't expect to find that again. I'm not sure if I want to. That's what makes that kind of love so special. And that's exactly how I want to remember it, remember him. Special.

He truly was one of a kind. He had this way about him. His reputation around campus was nothing short of troublemaker, typical rich playboy, douchebag. But reputations can lie.

In my eyes, he was painfully misunderstood. He went by his own set of rules. I think that's what I liked most about him. He didn't care about what other people would say, but he cared what I had to say. He's one of the few people who did.

He had this way of making those he wanted to feel so incredibly special, almost magical.

He was a fairytale, my beautiful fairytale.

Sure he was complicated at times. But for all the hell he would raise, he would also bring heaven, and that made it all worth it.

He gave me purpose. Lately it's been hard to find that in anything.

Still life goes on, so I suppose I have to as well.

Somehow, some way, I find my will to wake up and get out of bed every morning, shower, brush my teeth, wash my hair, get dressed. Even on days like today. Gwen's funeral ceremony.

It'll be tough to get through, but I know I have to find a way to say goodbye and begin moving on with my life. It's what Gwen would want. I have to be strong, for him.

"Alex I'm coming in, are you ready?" My friend and roommate Vivian calls from the outside of our dorm room.

"Almost." I barely choke out as she opens the door.