Try Not To Cry

The Story Behind the Poetess Words

Ever since I was a kid I always loved to read but I never imagined that I will be that someone who will write meaningful pieces' that people will read. Honestly, I don't know how my journey as a Poetess starts. As far as I remember I hate writing long paragraphs because the 'little me' is as lazy as the pig. I even hate taking down notes and only do it if it is necessary to, but look at the 'present version of me' now. She started to love writing prose and poems, both stories and phrases. She started to craft metaphors that not all people will understand the true meaning of those words. She starts playing with her pen and papers to let herself be free from her past that have been haunting her ever since she is in her elementary days.

Let me tell you this Poetess secret that she has been keeping in her deep and captivating words. The secret that she badly wants to forget because it caused her no good and traumas. During her grade 2 days she experienced how cruel the world is for giving her a mentor that is 'as terror as an ogre'. She experienced being shouted at, and being belittled by others but all her mentor did was to watch her stumbled and fall on her own. She experienced being thrown by an eraser board and being accused even if she didn't do anything wrong. But nobody heard her report and complained about it, instead she just accepted everything even though the truth is that it was not all her fault.

And that was the time she started ranting on her paper. No one saw her cry but little did they know she was bleeding all her pains, burdens and problems on that piece of paper that she had because she thinks that people will only judge her.

Years passed by, and luckily she survived her grade 2 level. She was thankful that in her next term in elementary she slowly gained herself. She also continued writing her rants at the back page of her notebook if she thinks that her situations are not going well. She managed to build new friends but sadly when she stepped on her 4th grade she experienced that traumatizing scenario that no other girls wanted to experience.

She knew they were too young that time but she never expected that one of her classmates would try to harass her. And to tell you, it was not just a simple harassment because the attempt of sexual assault is in there. The girl became traumatized because of that incident and for the first time she told her family about it. They accompanied her in her school, told the teacher and let the elders decide on what possible punishment that her boy classmate could have.

And then she became distant from everyone. She cage herself in the walls that she built to protect herself from others. But you know she never let herself be silent for the justice she deserves. She lets herself write all her experiences in her notebook and from there she screams all the thoughts and worries that she has. She crafted stories where she can live her life in peace. She built her own world where only her, the pen and papers and her imaginations are the things that only exist on it, and up until now she still continues to write down everything she feels because for her those papers are the ones who can understand her past.

So to give you a hint, the girl that I am referring to in this story is me. I am the Poetess who tries to hide from the pages of my masterpiece and the past that has been haunting me for years is the secret behind the words I bleed on it.