Guilt

16 2 0
                                    

lunch time came, you and ur brothers were on ur way to the lunch room your brothers went ahead while you went and got there lunch boxes. they always make you make there lunch there not one to eat ''poor peoples'' food. after you got the food you hurried to the lunch room to bring there lunch running through the halls like a crazy person just to give heartless people there food..

in the process of running you almost bumped into someone, you stopped just in time, you lifted ur head and looked at the person to apologize but they spoke first with a calm voice making you realize who you ran into.. you didnt say anything just started to walk away you could here them call ur name but after what happened 2 hours ago you just wanted to avoid everyone at all cost.

time skip to lunch room

once you got to the lunch room you looked everywhere for ur brothers you spent a good 4 min looking for them it was so crowded its like people would start to stack from floor to celling, you found them in the back in the corner without waisting time you started to push your way through 

when you made it to there table you had ur head down already knowing they were tired of waiting for you, you handed them one by one there lunch the took it with an annoyed look snatching it from ur hands when you finished you bowed and asked namjoon if its ok to eat some place else.. he allowed you to only cause your presents was bothering him

with the permission you got you went outside to the school park with ur lunch box and placed a blanket on the grass under the cherry blossom trees you set ur lunch out and laid flat or ur belly and ate while enjoying the view

?? pov

i was walking around the school park during lunch hours, i dont eat school lunch so i bring my own i enjoy the cherry blossoms i always sit in my favorite spot under the trees by a small pound but it looks like my seat was taken.. but ive never seen this face before so i went up the the person and gave a little excuse me.. 

the person turned around when she saw me she sat up very quickly i was confused of her actions but pushed it aside and said

??: umm sorry to bother you but i have never seen you before... are you maybe new?

your pov

i was watching the ducks on the pound when someone said something behind me 

??: umm sorry to bother you but i have never seen you before... are you maybe new

i sat up quickly with my head down afraid i may upset him in some way..

??: are you ok?

you keep ur gaze on the ground his voice was pretty deep it kinda scared you it made it seem as if he was angry in some way 

??: did i scare you? if i did i didnt mean to, i mean no harm in anyway 

you finally raised ur head to look at the tall man he had a smile on his face his eyes vanish when he smiles it was..cute

??: im mingi whats your name?

y/n: im y/n, kim y/n..

mingi: its nice to meet you y/n.. 

Y/n: you too..

mingi: mind if i sit with you?

y/n: no please have a seat

you scooted over for him to sit, once he sat down he pulled his lunch out while making conversation 

mingi: so you like blossom trees to?

y/n: yea.. my mother always took me to the blossoms when we went to japan.. and you?

mingi: i find them really beautiful and relaxing they smell amazing to.. but i rarely get to see them you must be lucky to have a mom who loves blossoms

y/n: yea she loved them so much she had many pantings of them lots of pictures she used to try to take a tree home.

you let out a little giggle along with mingi but something you said caught his attention 

mingi: she ''used'' to? what happened to her did your dad get a little tired of them?

y/n: no...

you looked away trying to control your emotions 

mingi: did i say something wrong?

y/n: no its just.. my mom and dad passed away.. thats what the ''used'' to means..

mingi: oh im sorry i hope i didnt..

yn: no no its ok you done nothing..

mingi: if i can may i ask how they died?

you took a deep breath in and kept quiet for a little

mingi: you dont have to if you cant handle it 

y/n: no its ok.. um

y/n: they were killed..my dad had a company in the philippines so we went there for a while because someone wanted to do a colab.. but my dad denied and that cause the other company owner to go crazy... after a few days after it happened our house was attack so my mom and dad locked us in the safe room.. while we were in there we could hear a lot of screaming and arguing and glass breaking and the next thing we know there were 4 loud bangs.. after the loud sounds it went quiet and my oldest brother went out to check for our parents.. but he came back with blood on his clothes seeing this we all rushed out to find my dad at the bottom of the stairs and my mother on our angel statue.. ever since then i have always found a way to get to blossoms they reminded me of my mother..

i felt arms wrap around me, i was pulled into a tight warm hug it was full of so much love and care that anyone who walked by could see it

mingi: im so sorry this happened if i could fix it i would, i can sense the pain you feel right now all the emotions your holding..

mingi: you dont have to hold it in ill gladly give you my shoulder..

his words where overwhelming ur emotions your lips twitched as you slowly started to let your tears flow, mingi was gently rubbing ur back while whispering soft soothing words..

all his word were in your head 

'' im here for you'' 

''just know there are people who care for you''

''dont hold back your feelings''

'' everything will be ok as long as you have a good friend to hold you''

the last thing he said made me remember what i said to the girls..

''i only care for my family..''

'' and you are nothing..''

'' y/n.. your just like us right..''

'' your family is also broken..''

the words made you feel guilty after all the kindness they showed you.. you treat them like that.. like trash.. like they were not human.. you acted like a jerk.. your acted like your brothers..

knowing how you acted with them you burst into tears on mingis shoulder letting everything out the guilt you held the pain you have the fear your going through.. you let it out, you didnt care for anyone around you but..

there were 8 people who was watching you from the beginning with anger.. you broke a rule.. never ever tell your family business..

Silent scream | Kpop idol + Reader|Where stories live. Discover now