if only

chapter 2

Evening crept in, darkness closing all around my car as I pulled into the circular driveway in front of Billie's house. I parked where she pointed, and killed the engine.

I glanced over at her, pausing with my hand on the door handle. She had frozen briefly, too, a mischievous, somewhat shy smile spreading across her face. Her dimples deepened, and the butterflies came back in my stomach.

"Comin'?" She asked, showing her teeth.

"Yeah," I croaked, and frantically cleared my throat, my face burning again.

She chuckled softly and climbed from the car.

I followed her to the door, keeping my distance. The door had a large glass panel, and as she typed in the code to unlock it, a silver-gray pitbull with floppy ears and floppier jowls skidded to a frantic stop in front of it. His tail wagged so hard his whole body wiggled, his front paws hopping exuberantly in place.

Billie giggled and tapped on the glass, then turned to look at me as the lock clicked. "You like dogs?"

I smiled sadly. "I have a Pit of my own back home. Couldn't bring him when I moved for school."

Her eyebrows knit together and her cocky grin faltered for a moment; it was like her whole joking demeanor melted, and bottomless empathy came pouring out. I held her intense eye contact, my own eyes suddenly watering with the emotion she was feeling.

"I'm sorry. I couldn't be without my dog that long."

With great effort, I simply shrugged, not trusting myself to speak. I marveled silently at her ability to pull such emotion from me.

She reached out suddenly and squeezed my hand, and my entire muscular system tensed. She didn't notice, or at least, didn't let on.

"Come on, you can cuddle mine for a bit."

And she pulled me into the house.

. . . . .

Billie's house was exactly how I thought it would be. Cozy, modest, with tons of strange objects all over the place. Things she'd collected from different talk shows she'd been on, gifts given by various artists, and an endless collection of mementos from fans.

And of course, one long ass shelf littered with awards, including her coveted Grammy's.

Once I'd sat on the floor and snuggled Shark for a bit, Billie disappeared into the kitchen to find snacks and drinks for us, and I wandered. It felt a bit nosey, examining photos on the wall and admiring a real Oscar up close. But I was so curious. I'd never known anyone famous before, and knowing her career so well made it all the more interesting.

As I explored, my mind raced. What did she really want me here for? I'd played this game before with other girls, going back to their apartment for drinks and ending up in their bed by the end of it. But was that really what was happening here?

Billie clearly stating she wanted me to stay the night baffled me. We'd only just met, and it was such a forward thing to say. But did she even mean it like that? Everyone knew she struggled with sleep and hated being alone. Was this just a way for her to not sleep alone tonight?

If that's all it was, I would gladly offer my services. And if it were more...

Billie shuffled into the room in her sock feet, carrying two drinks in glasses and a bag of chips in her armpit.

"Here," she half grunted, handing the drink out to me, and I took it gratefully. I sniffed it.

"Gin?"