The sky is so dim without you...

The pain i hide

I took Kyouka-chan back to the agency but just as I was turning to leave she grabbed my arm,
"P...please come up with me..." she mumbles glancing at the floor. I look up at the tall towering building then back down to Kyouka-chan

"I don't think anyone would appreciate me being in there" I mumbled no longer looking at kyouka-chan directly.
"Y...yes they will, especially dazai-san he's been dying to see you after..." she stops for a moment then she starts to weep again.

I slowly pick her up and start comforting her whilst hugging her and eventually she falls asleep, now I had no chance but to go up after all I couldn't just leave her out here.

As I get to the door a strange voice appears behind me saying,
"Why are you trying to be good? You never will be good, give up already"
As I turn around I see atsushi all bloody and muddy standing at the top of the stairs.

Then the door swings open and he disappears.
"Akutagawa-san?"
Ranpo-san was stood at the door looking at me with a confused look,
"Why are you so scared? You look like you have seen a ghost?" He says in a soft calming voice.

I couldn't tell him that I actually saw atsushi, he would think I had gone mad, although I have just woken up and left hospital so I wouldn't be surprised that I was seeing things, but it looked so real.

"Oh it's ok," i says now stuttering in my speech.
"I'm here to bring Kyouka-chan back, she fell asleep when I was talking to her earlier" i says no looking down at kyouka-chan
"Thanks akutagawa-san, by the way dazai-san wants to talk to you, I could get him for you if you'd like?"
He says slowly but gently taking Kyouka-chan out of my arms.

"Oh, yes please" i says still stuttering.
He walks back into the room as I here him talking with someone, and not long after dazai-san came out of the room.

Before he could even say anything I had already started talking.
"I'm sorry dazai-san I failed your mission, I WILL do better...I promise" i says as I feel my eye starting to tear up but no tears fell.

Dazai-san looks at me with pure horror in his eyes.
"Akutagawa... you don't need to apologise, it wasn't your fault you didn't know this would happen?" He say's slightly stuttering in his speech.

I look down,
"Yes I know, but I still let atsushi..."
I stop as a grasp tightly to the sides of my coat, I couldn't even say his name without the image of his dead body lying lifeless in my arms flashing through my memories.

Dazai-san slowly walked up to me and he pulled me close into a warm embrace, which wasn't normal for him to do. As he held me tightly my eyes started to water up and I sobbed quietly into his arms.