Find The Cold - In The Warmth

Not The Abuse You Know

With the reminder that this book is not telling you how to align your moral compass, it is necessary, still, to mention that most people consider abuse to be a bad thing. The issue is how to define abuse. 

You have almost certainly heard the phrase “abuse of power.” Consider something that most people would place at the worst end of the spectrum, such as the sexual abuse of mentally handicapped minors. It is abuse on multiple levels, because the minor has a number of vulnerabilities. Significantly, parents and guardians of these individuals are in a position of trust, to protect these individuals. They have little defense against, and lack the judgment to understand the ways in which sexual abuse can impact their psychology. It’s an awful, sobering thought to establish the extreme end of the abuse spectrum. 

At the other end of the spectrum, there may be more nuanced or controversial examples of what some people call abuse, such as ordering an extra portion of fries when charging a meal to the company account. It’s an unnecessary indulgence which allows the “abuser” to benefit excessively from the trust they have been given. 

Taking this even further, it’s possible to draw into question the nature of business relationships. You might consider the idea of someone “sleeping their way to the top” to be dismissive. However, how is it possible to reconcile personal relationships where one person clearly has power over the other; for example a boss and an employee, with ideas of the abuse of power?

A person may naturally be drawn to their boss due to the power they hold, as has been established. At the same time, it may be impossible for a boss to enter into a non-abusive relationship, given the inherent vulnerability of their employee. Perhaps it is completely possible to separate work and pleasure but these situations are sticky, to say the least. 

More pertinent to the times, it is possible to draw comparisons to the role of a casting director for Hollywood movies. Many people have said that it is inherently wrong for someone who has power over another, i.e. they can help their progress towards achieving their goals, to enter into a romantic relationship. Isn’t it the case that, in some of these instances, aspiring actors are throwing themselves at people in positions of power? The implication, then, is that power brings responsibility. Certainly, that carries an element of truth in the eyes of many people and much of the media. 

Once again, you will need to decide what constitutes abuse in your eyes. This may be defined by the potential victims of your actions, in which case you might not view a large corporation as a particularly tragic casualty, and order that extra basket of fries. Additional food for thought would be to consider what makes a person “vulnerable” and whether or not it is truly possible to decide that a person is “not vulnerable.” If you successfully manipulate another person then, surely, to some degree, they are vulnerable – if only to your cunning.