INCLINATION

CHAPTER 56 | All Alone

HLANGA.

My aunt left with Isabella, she said she’ll keep her for a few days while I try to sort things out. I can’t burden my aunt with my child so I’m going to need a nanny and preferably someone who also speaks Spanish. I’m left all alone in this damn house and it feels cold and empty. I never thought at my age, during this time of my life,  my life would be this messed up because of the decisions I made.

I take my phone and call uncle Qiniso. After 2 hours of being on the call with him, I’m left feeling more like shit. My uncle has never been so disappointed in me and I am so ashamed but I’m glad he gave me his ear and listened to what I have to say. I hope what I’m planning won’t backfire on me but I am hopeful. Tomorrow I have to go and talk to my aunt Nonhle and uBab' Motha because I need them, I can’t do this alone.

I know she said I should stay away from her but I need her to apologise to her again. I know won’t pick up my calls so I sent her a message instead.

“ Cheating on you was the biggest mistake I have ever made in my life and locking you up was the worst. I’m nothing without you and I don’t want to face the future without you also. You took with you the warmth and everything that makes this house a home. It’s cold and I’m left all alone. I’m going to make things right, I promise you. Please don’t give up on me, I love you"

I hold my breath then hit send. I wait to see if she hasn’t blocked my number so when it says delivered, I’m relieved. I grab my bottle of whiskey, go upstairs to our bedroom and then head to the closet. I grab one of her t-shirts that she loves, hold it to my face then inhale it. It still  has her scent and it makes my heart ache more. I sit on the bed then drink myself to sleep.

It’s the next day and I woke up with a serious hangover but I’m not complaining because I wouldn’t have slept in our bed if I was sober. Waking up without her next to me was the hardest thing to feel. I’m driving to her house to pick Aya up for school. The neighbourhood is beautiful, looks safe but it needs to be safer. I hope she will allow Linda to come and put the camera’s inside the yard so she can always feel safe, especially since I won’t be with her. I park in front of the gate then call Aya’s phone.

“ Morning Baba"
He sounds off. “ Hey buddy, did you sleep well?”
“ I did, I’m not going to school today”
“ Why? Are you sick, is your mother okay?”
“ Mom is fine, I’m not writing today. You don’t have to pick me up tomorrow. I’ll ask uncle Vino to pick me up"
“ Aya, I know you’re upset with me but please, let us talk?”

“ Why aren’t you here with us, what’s going on dad?”
I sigh. “ Can you come outside so we could talk and I’ll explain everything to you. I don’t want you to be mad at me"
“ Ever since you came back, mom has been crying more. Dad, did you hurt my mom?”
I rub my temples because I’m having a serious headache right now. “ Aya, please come out so we can talk”

“ Just answer me dad"
“ Whatever that is happening between your mother and I, is between us but you deserve to know what is going on and I will tell you everything you want to know. I just need you to focus on your exams first then as soon as you’re done. We will talk, I promise”

“ You know dad, I’m no longer a child and I can handle whatever you want to tell me. I just don’t like it when you and mom think that I’m still a child. You’re not my favourite person right now because you’re making my mom cry.”
“ I’m sorry son, I’m sorry your mother is hurting because of me. I will fix things, I promise you…”
His voice shakes “ So you did hurt my mom! Dad, she’s pregnant!. She’s carrying my little brother or sister and you….” He shouts at me.

“ Ayabonga…” I hear his mother’s voice calling his name then the line goes dead. Fxck me. I hit the steering wheel hard and take out my frustrations on it. I call his number again but it sends me straight to voicemail. I wait for a few minutes debating if I should call his mother’s number but decide to respect her wishes and leave.

I start the engine then reverse the car and drive away straight home to the Motha residence. It takes me an hour and by the time I arrive, I feel like I’m losing my mind. I punch in the code then drive in and park the car behind my aunt's car. I step out, take a deep breath and head to the front door. Before I could knock, the door opens and my aunts stand there shocked to see me.
“ Hlanga, are you okay?”
I take a deep breath cause I feel like a huge lump is stuck in my throat. I clear my throat
“ I’m sorry I came here, I don’t know what I was thinking….”
“Don’t be ridiculous, this is your home and you have every right to be here. Come in" she takes my hand and pulls me inside the house.

“ Is ubaba home?”
“ He was just about to go out. Baba, Hlanga,l is here. You don’t look okay. Sit ”
I wipe my treacherous eyes that are tearing up. I heavily sit down because I feel like the whole world is on my shoulders. “ I messed up and now I have lost my family. I hurt Emy and now my son hates me…”
“ Son, are you okay?”
“ I messed up baba…I….”
“ It’s okay, we’ll figure it out. We’ll help you with anything you need.”
“ I need to tell you what happened first.”

“ Your aunt told us when she came here for help about your situation. We are sorry we got involved without you knowing about it. We thought we were helping you son"  ubaba says.
“ I don’t care about that bxcth that left because if she hadn’t, I was going to kill her myself. What did auntie Nomusa tell you exactly?”