Invisible Strings

Chapter Six

Brantley's POV:

Sinking down into one of the little chairs that had been left in the barn, I thought about everything that Nick had said. His words had not been anything that I haven't already heard from my own parents. I hadn't even been all that shocked when he called me out on that childhood crush from all those years ago. What had shocked me was the flare of want that slammed into me; not the sexual kind of want where all you wanted was to get a woman beneath you and lose yourself in her body, forgetting everything but what was going on in that moment. The kind of want that hit me was the kind where the tiniest little bit of hope that you could be happy again had crept in. And I honestly didn' know how to process that.

Amber had been the love of my life, the woman that I was going to spend the rest of my life with, whom I was going to raise my kids with and help her achieve every single dream she had with just as much passion as she had supported mine –even when my journey had led me down a dark and lonely path. I'd done things to push her away, changed my ways and developed a different focus so that one day I could have her back. And when I did have her back in my life, I thought that it would be for forever.

I knew that my life would never be the same, that I would always wonder what could have been if things hadn't happened the way they had. I knew that part of me would always feel guilty or that I could have prevented Amber's tragic death had I just listened to her and stopped for directions. But because of Nick's words, I felt as if maybe things wouldn't be like this forever, that one day, I would be able to smile and it would be genuine and not fake.

Mama liked to say that as long as you had faith in something, it didn't matter how small it was. Her favorite thing to reference in size to the amount of faith you needed was a mustard seed. And I won't lie, with everything that happened with Amber, I was struggling with my faith. How could a God that loved us and wanted us to love happy and fulfilling lives take the person that was practically your other half? And in such a tragic way? How could a God that loves us so much that he sacrificed his only child want a child to suffer the loss of one of their parents? I really just didn't understand. But Nick's words had caused the miniscule amount of faith that I still held on to grow, even if it was just a tiny bit.The fact that he was talking to me about all of this, about his own daughter and her struggles, was the kick in the ass I guess that I had been needing. Not that I was ready to dive head-first into the world of dating or anything but I was open to the idea of attempting to let someone into my inner circle that isn't family.

"I'd want you to be happy..." Hearing the words –words that sounds just like Amber had spoken them– I looked around the barn, panic and hope mixing inside my chest making it feel as if a weight had been stelled right over my heart, making me wonder if the last year had been a fucked up dream and I was just now waking up from it. But when I didn't find her, I knew that the past year had in fact been real, that my new life was indeed my real life.

But even as I felt sorrow over not finding her standing in a corner somewhere, the words I'd clearly heard kept replaying like they were on a constant loop.

I hadn't even realized that I had stood from the chair and made my way out into the backyard until I heard Braylen squeal joyfully, pulling me from my trance. And what I saw made my heart skip a beat and my steps to falter. There, in the middle of the backyard, was Delaney with my daughter lifted high above her head, as if she was giving her a plane ride. Barrett ran down being them, making gun sounds as if he was trying to shoot the plane out of the sky. I heard Chloe and Colton laughing as they gave chase as well. And behind them the puppies followed, stumbling more than they were actually running.

"She's really good with kids if you can't tell." Said Nick, moving to my side. I'd been so lost in the picture playing out in front of me that I hadn't even realized he was near me. "She worked her way up pretty fast at her last school. Going from a teacher all the way up to assistant principal. Maybe it's just me talking out my ass but I believe that daughter of mine would have been the superintendent of Charlotte-Mecklenburg county schools within the next two years had she decided to stay in Charlotte."