(Rodamrix) Randoms

◇Red {suicidal}◇

Saying that Red felt guilty would be an understatement. He felt useless like he didn't fulfil his part well enough, he saw his entire team dead in skeld and he ran away from the problem like a coward.

Red sighs as he finished eating his breakfast that consisted of cereal as he pulled an all nighter yesterday at Polus. The Polus gang were kind enough to let him, Blue, Yellow and White stay until everything was settled.

Brown stood up from where she was sitting as she stretches before walking out of the room to probably grab the tasks or whatever captains do.

Red sighs as he watches his friends having normal conversations with the rest of them like nothing had ever happened. Red wishes he could leave this trauma behind and learn from his mistakes but it all was to much to digest at the same time, to much guilt on his shoulders he didn't want to worry his friends anymore than they already are. They had faced the same trauma so what made his trauma feel so invalided, like it didn't matter at all. And the cherry on top is that now he's an impostor, something he wish he could take back.

White must have noticed Red's gloomy demeanor as she places a hand on Red's shoulder a worried look on her face.

"You okay?" White asks with a small crook smile.

Red just glances at her before looking back at the table slightly nodding his head. He didn't want to be a bother anyway better to keep the shitty emotions inside and not cause more issues.

White slightly sighs as she rubs his shoulder for comfort.

"Blue and I are here for you so if anything is bothering you tell us." White reassures.

Red nods again as they see the captain walk in with sheets of paper in hand.

Brown hands everyone their tasks as usual and the irritating part is that he got double tasks as Blue was still recovering.

Red just rolls his eyes as he remembers that last time he spoke to Blue he felt his intrusive thoughts get a bit dangerous. Red still feels guilty about thinking such things to his friend.

Worst of all he didn't even do the task he just piled it up to Olive who probably didn't even do it now that he thinks of it.

Yellow's death was a lot to take in. Maybe if he had told the truth Glitchy would've still had his father around, the poor kid is still trying to get used to not having his father around.

Another thing that came tumbling down that kept a great weight on his shoulder. Maybe if he just disappeared things would be better.

Red grabs the sheets angrily and storms out of cafeteria. Maybe if he did his task than all of this guilt would stop consuming him whole.

But every task he did he felt more useless and more guilty.

After the tasks Red walks to the pit of lava where Yellow was ejected for no reason at all.

Maybe if he jumped things would be better for everyone.

Red sat down on the edge of the cliff as his intrusive thoughts told him to jump.

As Red was about to take a leap of faith something or... Someone grabs him before he could do anything. It was White. She looks absolutely terrified, she dragged Red about a feet away from the pit as she just looks at him unable to utter a word.

"What were you thinking, Red?!" White asks in disbelief.

She knew that Red felt guilty with everything that has happened but she would've never though her friend would try suicide.

"You know how scared I was when I saw you try and jump off a fucking cliff?!" White asks again.

And for once Red looks up at White tired eyes meeting terrified and scared eyes.

"I-." But before Red could say anything White gave Red a big bear hug.

She sat on her knees as she embraces him tightly afraid if she let's go Red would try something dumb again.

"Please never think or try to hurt yourself." White pleads.

Red feels the tears starting to form as he places his hands on White's back as the tears ran down his cheeks like a waterfall.

"Im sorry." Red mumbles. "Shhhh." White says.

White wraps her hands around Red's back aswell as her fingers circle around his back to try and soothe him.

Red rests his chin on White's shoulder as he closes his eyes.

"Anything that happens from now we'll face it togheter understood?" White asks Red who was still a bit shakened.

"I promise." Red answers.

{HELLLOOOOOO this is a bit short but I had no idea what else to write as I am bad at writing. Anyway BAYYYYYYYY.}