Dancing With Our Hands Tied

Chapter 5

"I, I loved you in spite of Deep fears that the world would divide us."

Steph's POV:

My emotions are mixed. Is Dark the same person as Matthew? Is he the one who killed Egie and his ex? I'm confused. Honey keeps calling, but I don't answer. I didn't realize I was already home in my condo. I kept calling the numbers Dark and Matthew gave me, but neither responded. The only way I could think of for Dark to come out was to get some wine from the fridge and drink. I waited for the door to open, but Dark didn't show up.


"DARK! COME OUT! I KNOW YOU'RE WATCHING! EXPLAIN YOURSELF!" I shouted. But after two bottles, there was still no sign of him.


"FUCK YOU, DARK! FUCK YOU, MATTHEW! I HOPE YOU ROT IN HELL!" I screamed, crying. The next morning, when I woke up, I was still on the kitchen counter. There was no breakfast served, no letter or roses on the table or in my room. I cried again.
I tried dialing the numbers again, but it was the same.



"Damn it!" I threw my phone. Instead of sulking, I decided to take a shower and get dressed for work.




"I told you to fix your work!" and I threw the folder containing papers. My employees picked them up one by one from the floor.


"Oh my. What's happening here?" Mommy Gulf suddenly entered. I walked up to her and hugged her.


"Just stressed, mommy. But don't worry, I'm okay."


"Try harder, cous." I turned around. Alex was standing there, with Nathan who was smiling.


"I have a meeting here, and these two insisted on coming along. Can they stay here for a while?" she asked.

"It's okay, mommy. Good thing you brought them. I need an energy booster." Yeah, my favorite cousin, Alex. I love teasing him always. And Nathan, a very lovable and cutest kid I ever known. Who would believe they're just 6 years old but already a couple? Alex is a territorial kid.
When Mommy Gulf left, the two of them sat down.


"What's the problem? Why are you like that to your employees?" Alex spoke like an old person. Very Mommy Gulf.


"I-I'm just..."


"Love life?" Nathan interrupted. "If you love him, then tell him. Don't deny it. I'm sure that person loves you too."


"Hey, watch your words. You're too young for that." I said.


"Hey, don't 'hey' my wife." Alex glared at me. I chuckled. "But seriously, my wife is right." He added. "Girl or guy?"

I took a deep breath. "It's a guy. Hubby." Nathan cut me off again. "Look at him, it's obvious he's struggling with his love life now. Like you now." And he rolled his eyes on his so-called hubby. Okay, I'm jealous. Single here.


"I'm sorry, okay? She's nothing to me. She's our classmate. Why would I fall for her when I have you already?" Alex said. And then they started being all lovey-dovey. What good parents, letting their very young kids be like this.

"You can tell us your problem, cous; we're all ears," Alex said. There's probably nothing wrong with seeking advice from a kid sometimes.


I took a deep breath and started sharing my story.


"If he's the one, maybe he had a reason for what he did. You said you're straight, even if you're not. And you hurt his feelings for that. I think he might be hurt now, and worst, he might not want to see you anymore. Be careful with your words sometimes. You're too straightforward." Alex said.



"So if you've fallen in love, are you ready? You know, we used to see you as straight, like you like girls, even your past relationship is with a girl, and the last thing is um... Not a good ending... You know. Hehe," Alex added. That's my question too. I don't know. Am I ready? Or maybe I've always been leaning the other way, but I can't admit it. I slept with my exes, even with Egie, but now that I've experienced it with Matthew, everything changed. I don't know. I'm confused.


"Only you can answer your own problem," Nathan said.


Mommy Gulf's meeting ended, and they left. Once again, I'm alone. I immersed myself in work. I go home early just to see him, but he still hasn't shown up. It's been three weeks, but I've given up. So, I don't go home to the condo anymore; I stay in the mansion. Sometimes, I work 24 hours straight. This is what I always do when I want to forget one thing at a time. My family are worried, but they can't stop me either.



After a month, I returned to the condo. I walked around and smiled.


"I wasn't born foolish. I know you're just around. I'm sorry for everything I said. I miss you." I broke down again. I had no energy left. Only now did I realize that there are small cameras all over my condo.


I'm so exhausted. Since I was a child, I've thought that I have no family. This name, Stephanie, doesn't belong to me. The real Stephanie is dead. I'm not a true Kirigun, like my mom, Kira Kirigun; I'm just adopted. I'm lucky to have found a good family. My uncles, aunties, and cousins treat me like I'm part of their real family. I'm used to always being left, always getting hurt. But why is it that in this situation, I can't guard myself against the pain? It's my fault for falling for someone who showed me false intentions. Maybe I was born this way.


I stood up, took the sleeping pills, and lay down on the bed. I turned off all my gadgets. I want to be alone for now. They used to see me as a strong guy. But at this moment, I want to be weak. Just for now. Slowly, my eyes grew heavier.



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Matthew's POV:

I observe every move he makes. In the past weeks, I found joy in watching him. From the flowers and letters i sent, to the nights he spent at the bar just to catch a glimpse of me. And on the night we crossed paths again at the bar, it hurt when he insisted he was straight. I was offended, so I couldn't help dropping hints about my true identity. Yes, I am Dark. I am the mysterious man. I am connected to the death of his ex, and I have my reasons for what I did.


I witnessed his surprise. I left that night. However, from a distance, I kept an eye on him. "Damn it!"


Due to his intoxication, I was also the driver who took him home without him realizing. I followed him to his condo, effortlessly entering. I observed every move he made. I saw his frustration. I felt pity, wanting to embrace him and explain everything, but it's not the right time. It's a delicate moment, and there are other complications—we can't be together.


"DARK! COME OUT! I KNOW YOU'RE WATCHING! EXPLAIN YOURSELF!" He shouted. He drank again, thinking I would come out. Again, I restrained myself.


"FUCK YOU, DARK! FUCK YOU, MATTHEW! I HOPE YOU ROT IN HELL!" He screamed, crying until he fell asleep. I approached him. "I'm sorry, but we can't be together," I replied.


As painful as it is to admit, he doesn't belong in my world. Initially, I wanted to use him for revenge, but as I watched him day by day, my perspective changed. "You don't deserve this kind of world. You've been through a lot, and I don't want to add to that," I said.


It's a relief that I haven't told Dad about this. It's a good thing.



"Steph Lincoln.....Stephanie Collins... I whispered, closing my eyes as I read the information I gathered.








"...Kirigun,"






"My love...."






Month passed, and he didn't return to his condo. From the footage, I could see how exhausted he was, appearing somewhat lethargic and pale. He sat on the couch and cried.


"I wasn't born foolish. I know you're just around. I'm sorry for everything I said. I miss you," he said, looking at the small camera on the wall. He knew.


"I miss you too, my love..." I whispered. He stood up and went to his room. He turned off all his gadgets and placed them in a box under the bed. I became a bit nervous about what he would do next.


He took something from his drawer and consumed it. He sighed while crying. I quickly stood up from my seat.


"Boss...."


"Shut up!" I shouted. I hurriedly grabbed the medicine from my drawer and quickly left the office, heading to the elevator. I pushed through my employees, uncaring of their opinions. For the first time in my life, I felt fear.


"Not again, please," I said to myself. He is allergic to any sleeping pills. How did he get those?


"I'm useless!" I screamed. My car was conveniently waiting, and I grabbed the keys from my driver, speeding towards his condo. Upon arrival, I immediately opened the door. Yes, I have a duplicate key.


I ran towards his room, but it was locked.


"Damn it!" So, I broke it. I'm sorry, my love. I'll fix it later.


I quickly approached him.


"Steph... Steph...." His eyes opened, and he smiled.


"D-Dark..... M-Matthew....."


"Yes, love. It's me, Matthew."


"I'm sorry... I miss you," he said.


"No. You don't have to." I noticed hives gradually appearing on his skin. I grabbed my pocket and took the medicine from my drawer earlier, injecting it into him without hesitation. The welts disappeared in a few moments. I stood up and grabbed a towel, wiping him and changing him into comfortable clothes. I knew everything about him, even his allergies. He had a high fever. Once I was sure he was okay, I stood up to prepare some soup.



Afterward, I went downstairs to buy his medicine. Right on cue, when I returned, he was already awake. He looked at me, blinking as if he couldn't believe what he was seeing.

he slapped me, 'Why are you here? How could you do this to my ex?" he angrily said to me. i  approached him, and he punched me, But I didn't falter.

"Love, let me explain," i  said. 

"No! You don't have to explain anything. You're a murderer! A rapist! I hate you!" he said. And I was hurt by what he said. he kept hitting me until he felt weak, and i just embraced him while he sobbed uncontrollably. "How could you do such things?" he asked. 

"Because I love you. And I don't want to see you hurt," I said. He pushed me away and forced him out of his room. 

"Get out! I don't want to see you anymore! You're disgusting, you're a monster! go to hell!" He shouted, and he quickly locked the door. I expected it to happen, but it still hurts. The person I love hates me. I could hear his crying, and my heart breaks with every sob. My phone rang, and I answered it immediately. 

"Sir, one of the Kirigun is here." I quickly left his condo. I had no intention of leaving him in this situation, but I couldn't do anything. Now is not the time for me to show up to his family.