Chapter 1

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⚠️TW: the EFF slur, cursing⚠️
TRAVIS'S POV:

I'm a faggot.

I'm a damn faggot. I'm a queer. I'm one of those boy kissing skanks. And for no one other than Larry Johnson, I'm a queer for Larry Johnson. Oh my fucking god.

I can't even fucking believe im saying this right now. It's not right. I wasn't raised to be one of those... abominations. I was raised right, like the true man I should be, but I still turned out like this. God fucking damn it.

I thought today would be fine, if I just avoided him and his goons. I thought I'd be okay if I just went straight to my classes and ignored every single sign of him being around me, but of course stupid fucking Sally face comes and just has to come talk to me.

"Hey, Travis." Sal said quietly as he tapped my shoulder, making me flinch a bit. I never expected for him to just come out of nowhere and talk to me, I mean I bullied the guy for fuck's sake.

"What do you want, freak?" I said, glaring up at Sal, my knee hesitantly turning outwards towards him. I gripped the corner of my desk as hard as I could, my other leg bouncing up and down, rapidly.

Sal looked a bit uncomfortable by my response, his eyes drifting off to his desk before returning to me, he let his hand fall to his side and stuff itself in the pocket of his ripped jeans. "Nothing, it's just- Mrs. Packerton told me I was supposed to tutor you today after school since you've been having trouble with math. I just wanted to give you a heads up."

"Is that your way of insulting me?"

"No, you can ask her yourself man."

There was no way. No way that stupid teacher made Sal Fisher tutor me, I couldn't be seen with him. What if my dad saw me? It wouldn't turn out good.

Not to mention, he's best friends with Larry. Which was a big problem, i probably couldn't be in the same room with him without my heart jumping straight out of my chest and scurrying off to who knows where.

No, I couldn't think like that. You don't like Larry, Travis Phelps. You are a straight man, you are a good man. Why are you so afraid? He's just a guy. Get your act together.

I glanced at Sal, and then looked at Mrs. Packerton who was at her desk grading papers, before standing up from my desk and dragging my feet to where she was. My legs got wobbly, like if I stopped and stood for a split second I would fall to the ground, yet I still made my way to Packerton's desk.

"Yes, Mr. Phelps?" Mrs. Packerton said as she looked up at me with her tired dark brown eyes, making me feel uneasy for some reason.

She always made me feel uncomfortable, I could always feel her gaze on me occasionally during class or when she would come to church on Sundays, and she'd see me standing next to my father at the stand. Something was always so off about her, I could never figure out what it was. Not like I cared anyway, I had better things to think about.

"Uhm, hi. Is it true that Sal is supposed to tutor me today?" My voice was small, soft, and barely audible. It reminded me of how I used to talk back when I was a small kid, when I could be as quiet as I wanted without any punishment from my dad. Now? Not so much.

"Hm, let me check." Mrs. Packerton said, putting on her glasses as she grabbed a paper from in between her pile of papers, reading it carefully.

"No, I don't believe so.."

Oh thank god.

"Not today at least, it's supposed to be tomorrow."

Too fucking soon.

My stomach turned, there was no way that I had to be stuck with Sally Face for a whole tutor session. Don't those last an hour? I can't even be in the same room with him or any of his friends without wanting to bolt out of there as quickly as I can.

"T-that can't be right. I- we- he- we don't get along very well." I protested, my palms starting to feel clammy as I scratched my arm nervously, careful not to accidentally scratch myself too hard.

"I'm sorry, Travis. But you are failing this class, if you want to pass this grade, you're going to have to raise your grades up. And I don't see any improvement by yourself, so Sal will be tutoring you until I see improvement. Don't worry, Mr. Fisher is one of the smartest kids in this class."

Yeah, I wasn't worried about that, old hag. I'm worried about hanging out with him, even if it's just for tutoring. What if I come into contact with Larry? What if we get into a fight like we always do? It's annoying how much I'm supposedly fond of him, but it's even more annoying hearing his stupid voice telling me to fuck off.

I just nodded, and dragged my feet back to my desk. I sat back down, my body tense and anxious as I let the thought sink in.

Sal Fisher, Sally face, the kid with the weird fucking mask, Larry's best friend, was going to be tutoring me. It felt horrible, just thinking about it made me wanna break the school tile floor with a hammer, dig up a hole, crawl in it and die.

Sure, Larry Johnson was mostly the one I tried to avoid the most, but just interacting with his group of friends was just as bad. I don't wanna hang out with them, I don't wanna talk to them, I don't wanna walk around them, I don't even want to breathe the same air as them. That's how bad it is.

"So, do I have to tutor you today?" The bluenette's voice scared me, making me jolt back in my seat. I turned to look at Sal, who was sitting right behind me.

"Tomorrow. You have to tutor me tomorrow." I said quietly, my grip on my chair tightening more than before. I could feel my organs rearranging all around my body, I wanted to throw up so badly. I couldn't believe it. Sal fucking Fisher was going to be tutoring me, talking to me about algebra, and at the end of the day I'd have a whole different perspective on him, right?

As if, I hate queers, and he's one of them. Along with his other stupid faggot friends, and especially Larry. I hate Larry. For some reason he's always on my mind, and I hate it. I'm not supposed to be thinking these things, it's not a way a man should think. I'm not a fa-

My thoughts were interrupted by the sound of the bell ringing loudly, the sound echoing into my ears and through my mind.

I don't think I'll make it to tomorrow without dying out of embarrassment today, and so I stopped pondering about this whole situation for a minute and got up and started walking to my next class.

END OF CHAPTER ONE.

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