BROKEN FOREVER - Mason Freeland and Evie Zamora

30 | RIGHT UNDER OUR NOSES

"That happened first a few months ago." She came in and sat on my bed. Her eyes busted her. She just cried, and I think she did all day long.
I waited for her. It's not a easy thing to talk about, but it needed to open up. She need help.

"I saw mom and Brady kissing or something, and i remembered the last time he's been here." She took a breath before continuing, she can sit here and talk for the entire night, i don't mind.

"I got angry. And i couldn't sleep, so i looked for something that will shut down what i felt. I didn't do that before," she saw i needed to hear that.

For a moment i glared at her eyes, and I've seen Tracy. i saw her talking and explaining like she used to talk, with this calm look she always had,

"I opened the cupboard and i didn't even know what im looking for there. I moved all the medicines and found mom's old scissors." Her head fell down, she was now staring at the floor.
"I'm so ashamed." She mumbled and i heard she's fighting with her tears not to fall.

"You don't need to." I sent my hand, and i was almost afraid to touch her. Just after that I realised how messed up that is to think twice before you put your hand on your sister.

My hand sat on her back, i tried to comfort her.
When i did, her body was tensed. But then she relaxed, and remembered it's me.

"That felt so good for no reason. I was hurting myself, and bleeding, but that gave me peace. So I did it more. And that became something permanent. I didn't told anyone." I felt traumatised. It's the worst thing I've ever heard.

I wiped away my tears and took a deep breath.
"Mason, I'm not gonna show you the scars. You didn't was supposed to found out, not like that. I'm sorry for everything I'm causing." She held my shoulder. I don't want to get my hopes too high, but I'm starting to see her again.

It's true that it's only been two days since Evie left, but it seems to completely prove what the problem was. And now the problem is not around, so Tracy is starting to get better.

"Why did you do that to yourself." I regretted that question a second after i asked her.
"I wish I knew." Her voice was low. She sounded so mature and intelligent, like she was.

"If you'll tell that to someone, i will not talk to you." She warned me. And she was serious.

"I'm sorry im not the Tracy you know anymore." She tighten her grasp one more time and got out after whispering good night. I wasn't able to sleep, i closed my eyes and all i could see is those scissors covered with dry blood. Tracy's blood.

That was too much to process, too much was happening. My life never looked like that. Even when Travis left, even when he lived here and cheated on my mom every two days, even when Brady was coming back here and overdosed again, and even when we lived by one meal a day.

Live here is harsh. I know the kids here. Some of them are my friends, some of them reminding me of myself, it effecting everyone. but I've never thought I'll see Tracy in them. What i discovered today, probably will stuck with me forever.

I knew she was strange. I knew something is going on, but I've never thought something like that is involved. I would never guess either.

If that's Evie's fault, i swear I'll come after her.
if she was the one that got this idea to Tracy's head, she'll pay. She damaged her.

My mom is sitting there, in the living room, doesn't know a thing. I can't leave that, but I can't break her either. After I talked to Rafa on the the phone a bit, Luke sent a text that explain why he didn't came today, and then my phone rang again. That was from Travis.

"Mason, hey. What's going on." Of course he'll call late at night after so long he didn't.
"Hey." I was saying coldly. I waited for him to get to the point. I'm not some fucking doll he can choose when to connect with only when he can.

"Everything's okay?" He talked like he's doing something. Cooking, or organise the house.
"Yeah," he sighed by hearing my tiredness.

"Uh, why did i called? Oh! of course to check on my son, and to ask if you need anything." I almost laughed and hung up. 'check on my son'.
And he was talking about money obviously.
"No, dad i don't need anything." The last thing i would do is to ask him for money.

"Everything is okay in home? Tracy, mom?" Like he gives a fuck. Flashbacks from the nights he was sneaking here girls in front of us came in my mind. When mom was gone sometimes to help Birdie or be with Cynthia, he would bring here girls like he's sixteen. He didn't even cared if me and Tracy are home. And I'm saying girls and not woman on purpose. He always cheated.

How do you answer about something like that?
He's not part of our life anymore so i felt completely fine about lying about everything.
"Yes, everything is good." I rolled my eyes,my anger was close to take over and speak for himself. Because he knows nothing. And this is his daughter. I don't want him here, but it's just so fucked up.We tried to tell him, he just ignored.

"That's great, yeah." He started whispering after Mary asked him to. The kids are asleep.
For almost a minute there was just silence.
"Uh, Tom would love to surf with you some day."
Tom is the oldest. I don't think he want his perfect boy around me, I'm 'bad influence' .

"Maybe." The short replies was a hint, but I don't think he got it. Even though i know exactly he's calling to show he do cares, which is a lie.

"Good night dad." I hung up. I don't think he knows I'm not calling him dad anymore. Just Travis. I didn't even realised when i did. It just happened, and I don't have a problem with that.

All I could think of was still Tracy. And then I cried again, in nights when I'm alone i allow myself. And since i know i can't stop.
I just thinking about all this time she did that and we didn't had a clue. All the time she was in pain.
she was hurting herself right under our noses.