165 - Love

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Night fell gladly over Wellspring, and the townsfolk dissipated to rest after their unfortunately eventful day. No one had faced any other issues with the lizardmen since the initial attack that afternoon, and hopefully, they would never need to worry about that again. For the first time in longer than anyone could remember, peace had fallen over Wellspring, and its people could not have asked for anything better. 

Therion, on the other hand, just wished he was able to sleep. He had a big day ahead of him when morning came, and he couldn't afford to stay up sifting through anxieties that would not fade. He wanted to press his cheek against the pillow and numb out the rest of the world, but he had been trying for hours, and it simply wasn't working. The black market wasn't going to wait for him though, so Therion decided he would need to do something else to ensure he got the rest he needed. 

In the end, that specific idea brought him to the edge of the oasis at the center of town. Therion sat down on one of the rare patches of desert grass to look into the water. The sky was cloudless overhead, reflecting back a hazy image of the moon. Therion watched it before changing his attention to his own reflection. The water distorted his form gladly, not that it would have mattered much. Therion didn't recognize himself as well as he should have. It seemed like he only understood himself less the more time went by, and while it was to be expected, it was tragic even so. 

Therion wished he knew what he was supposed to do. He was feeling much better now than he had been when he first arrived in Wellspring, but that wasn't saying much given the circumstances. All he wanted was to make sense of the haze in his mind, but it seemed damn near impossible. Therion was terrified of everything these days, and he hated feeling so vulnerable. It felt like every wrong step he took just set his nerves on fire for a new round of horrible anxiety, and he had been fighting to extinguish the flames for long enough. 

If nothing else, distance and time had helped. He couldn't say he felt entirely great after his encounter with Miguel, but he felt... Better. Therion still wanted to be sick each time he thought of that monster's face, but he was at least able to sit with his own thoughts without wanting to claw his brain out of his skull. That had to count for something. Therion had gladly taken the lizardmen extermination mission as a distraction, and much to his surprise, it had dulled the screaming in his head. It was still there, but it was at least a bit more bearable. 

But at the same time, it was even harder to deal with than ever before. Therion wanted to say he felt better after seeing Olberic make up with Erhardt... But instead, he was just jealous that he would never get that. He would never forgive Darius no matter the circumstances, and he knew Darius would never apologize for what he had done either. He had shoved Therion off that cliff in a perfectly sound state of mind. There was no outside group manipulating him into doing that. Erhardt at least had the decency to apologize for what he had done even if he couldn't fix the damage he had left behind. Darius would never be so kind, and Therion knew it. 

Therion didn't even know why he wanted Darius to apologize to him. What would it even be worth? Nothing. Maybe Therion just wanted some closure on his pain. Maybe he wanted some cue from the universe that he could finally move on, not that Darius talking to him about what he had done would help. In fact, Darius showing up would probably only make Therion feel worse about everything that had happened. He didn't understand most of the emotions that ruled his life these days, but he was at least smart enough to know that pursuing any sense of understanding behind what Darius had done wouldn't help. 

"I see you couldn't sleep either."

Therion barely had the chance to wipe his scowl off his face after he heard Primrose approaching him from behind. He could see her reflection in the water of the oasis too. She had traded her regular clothes out for the new outfit she had purchased from the Wellspring clothing store. The combination of red, gold, and white fit her perfectly, and it certainly looked better than the dancing outfits of Sunshade. Primrose sat down next to him without bothering to ask for permission, not that he would have denied her anyway. "Something like that," Therion remarked. "I've just got a lot on my mind." 

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