We just took a shower. Now we are chilling on the couch watching a movie. I can't walk. I can't talk. My legs hurt. My voice is cracking. I see him texting Tara. "Ugh,. Tara wants to come over.. She's gonna be here in like.. 10 minutes." Jake sighs. "After you just broke my legs." I giggle. He smirks and kisses my neck. I feel him start giving me hickies. "Um.. Jake.. she might see." I murmur. "It's okay. Just say it was someone you were with last night." He says, continuing to give me hickies. Oh my god. God save me. This man is killing me, but I love it. We end up making out. Someone calls Jake. It's Tara. We stop and he answers. He hangs up and goes to the door, and opens it. Tara walks in. "Hey babe." She says. He closes the door. "Hey." He says. She kisses him, he kisses her back. But he looks at me. I smile and just look back at whatever we were watching on tv.
He just broke my back and my legs, now he's with his girlfriend.
I don't care though. I'm happy we finally did it again. 3 months may seem short, but when it comes to this, I just can't wait. They sit next to me and start cuddling. "Imma go to my room and let you two be." I say, and go inside my room, struggling to walk. I lay on my bed and stare at the ceiling, smiling. But then reality kicks in. And I realized what I thought earlier.
(angst warning ig)
He just broke my back and my legs, now he's with his girlfriend.
The realization kicks in. I'm being used. All because of 3 months. And months before them. I stop smiling and just lay there. He doesn't like me. He loves Tara. But then why doesn't he just stop fucking me? Tara should be the one he's doing. Not me. I'm grateful, but Tara is his girlfriend. Im just a gay wimp who doesn't even know if he likes me. I know I shouldn't beat myself up because of it, but still. It hurt thinking it. About him. But he's the only thing I can think of. I love him. But he just needs me for sex. And to make videos with him. I know im his best friend, but it's so hard trying not the pretend that I have feelings for him. I wanna tell him so bad that it hurts, but I have to wait. Even if he was single I'd be scared to ask. I would probably wasted his time. I've tried before. All I did was stand there and stutter and try to muster up the courage to do it. I know that he was already very suspicious of me having a crush on him,. I don't even know how we starting doing what we are doing. Im not sure if I even want to remember, or forget. But they are the most beautiful moments. But all he does is toss me around like im a rag doll. I just wish one day he would actually make love to me. But who am I to judge how he fucks me? Im the one who wants it. I love the way he treats me though. Like im a little piece of trash. He just throws me around when we fuck. I love it so much. But I know I have to wait till this weekend. And until I can walk again. I don't wanna add to the pain.
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A/N HEY THERE GIYS UM IDK HEY THERE LMK UF ITS BAD
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Sessions (Jake Webber + Johnnie guilbert)
RomanceJohnnie has a crush on Jake. They are fuck buddies. Jake is dating Tara and he is jealous and wants them to breakup because Tara is mean to him. When they do break up, both of the boys realize that they are getting closer and closer everyday.
