Till the End

chapter 13

Rayan

I don't think I will ever recover from what happened today. I don't think I'll ever forget how she looked at me. I don't think I will ever forget the feeling of Maya being in my arms. I don't think I will ever recover from knowing the fact that an angel like her felt comfortable crying on me.

But there's still one thing that has been bugging me to death. Why did she cry? Who hurt my Maya? I've claimed her as mine, but she is oblivious to it. Obviously.

But the series of events that followed will forever make me happy. I loved seeing her smile, I loved seeing her laugh, I loved seeing her feel comfortable around me, I loved every moment of it and more.

I got up and made coffee for some reason. As it was raining outside, I sat next to the couch placed next to my window. I picked up my phone to check texts and other things only to find texts from Aarav and my mom.

I texted Aarav that the date adventure was tomorrow so hold your horses. I was about to call my Mom but it was too late so I didn't.

The memories of me and Maya's school days took over me and I drowned in that pool of thoughts. I remembered her laughter. Those days were full of shy smiles and awkward moments that made it humourous more than awkward. I remember the person I used to be back then. A jock, with girls behind me always wanting to talk to me like crazy, don't get me wrong the attention wasn't bad, but you could never understand someone's true intentions.

But Maya was the first junior whom I'd let in my life. She was always different in a weird way. She seemed like someone who wasn't behind my popularity for once. And she knew my mother so it was even better and easier to trust her.

She was my favorite junior back then and I felt like I was somewhat attached to her. I remember her trying to listen to rap music just because I liked it. And I also remember her brushing it off that she didn't do it for me. It was the cutest thing in the world.

But now I didn't see her as a lovable junior anymore. Something about our dynamic had changed. Because if you tell the Rayan from 8 years ago the events of today he would just brush it off. But now it seemed like something had changed. Because if I didn't I would be thinking about her right now. I wanted her to be mine. Mine in a way that the me from years ago would completely disagree with.

But that Rayan was long gone and I hope she doesn't perceive me as still being like him. No matter how happy and outgoing I used to be, I was still naive. I buried that Rayan deep inside so I wouldn't make the same fucking mistakes again.

After graduation, I became a blend of sweet and bitter memories, mostly the bitter ones that shaped who I am today.

I finished my coffee and got into bed. I don't know why the rest of the world feels energized after drinking coffee but I feel sleepy. It works better than sleeping for me. I sat on my bed with a silly grin that hadn't left my face. But brushing my thoughts aside I went to sleep looking forward to seeing her tomorrow.

Maya (one day fast forward)

I have already decided I was going to avoid him. So why can't I do that? That's not even a worthy question, because I think at this point, everyone knows how much in love the heart of mine is even though my mind warns me at every moment not to fall deeper.

But whom do I listen to when I'm around him? My heart. And whom do I listen to when he's far far away, my brain.

I feel like I just cannot go about my day without bumping into him somehow.

Then it hit me, I'm not gonna go to the office tomorrow as well. It's not like my company is in an existential crisis, that I need to go to work. So then it's decided I'm not going to work tomorrow. I texted Amara, to tell her that I'm not going to work tomorrow and I need to talk to her about something so very important.