summertime sadness | daerin

58

MY hotel bedroom roared with laughter, girl's talk and an awful amount of singing that would normally be an instant kick of the ass out of the hotel. My body felt hot to the touch, my hair now disheveled and a pile of empty plates and half eaten food were left on a tray on the floor next to my bed. I looked like an absolute hot mess.

We danced and watched the people from the window. They looked like scurrying ants from this high up. They would never know if we made fun of them, they would never know the conversations we just shared over brunch or the number of songs we had on queue to belt out.

It didn't matter though. We were in the penthouse of a luxurious hotel and no one could tell us to quiet down or put an end to our endless fun. We were finally letting loose after our serious conversation about our love life and troubles.

Spencer held a comb in her hand to use as a makeshift microphone. Her head was resting on my lap as she stared up at the white ceiling, eyes almost welling with tears as she confidently sang the lyrics to 'Back to December' by Taylor Swift.

The sound of scurrying outside my bedroom was hardly heard over Spencer's attempt at putting her unspoken thoughts and words into song and letting it out in the only way she knows best.

Meanwhile, Astrid had her head drooped over her iPad, eyes hardly even open as she used her familiarity with the keyboard to type into the search bar without needing to even look at it.

"Look what I had stashed away in my purse!," Raven ran back into my room holding a bottle of Jägermeister in the air. "I even found the shot glasses at the mini bar in the kitchen," She made her way back to my bed and plopped herself down next to Astrid who had opened her eyes due to her best friend's excitement. "Anyone?!"

Astrid groaned and fell onto her back. "My head hurts. I want to sleep...," She held her hands over her face to block the sunlight. "I had enough..."

Spencer huffed a breath when the song had finally come to an end. "Pour me three. And fill it up please I'm not a lightweight like others..."

The emerald green bottle lay next to me as Raven made herself cozy in the warmth of my thick duvet. "Aren't we all lightweights anyway?," She countered. "But honestly I'm not sure about you."

I met eyes with Raven who looked back at me with a cocked brow. "What's your limit, Marsh?"

I shrugged. "I—um. I'm not sure actually," I answered. I do know though. "Probably a bottle depending on what I'm drinking? Nothing more."

Spence closed her eyes and set the comb down. This time she didn't sing or hum. She let the song run its course without the beautiful addition of her honey like voice over it. "Is it ready? The shots." She helped herself up and watched as Raven set the glasses down in a line across my perfectly white sheets like it was nothing much.

"In a minute," Raven poured the liquor into each shot glass and made sure to be careful. "Sure you don't want any, Astrid? I know you want to, loser." She lifted a now full shot glass and tilted her head back before swallowing the drink.

Her face scrunched up tightly as she put the glass back down. "Geez. Who's next?" She passed me a shot and a wide grin appeared on her small face.

"Show us how it's done, Marsh," I took the glass from her hands and smiled. "You're next." She pointed to Spencer. Gosh. Astrid, where are you?" She waved a hand across the blonde's gaze who I realised was staring intently over at Spencer.

I shot the glass of liquor down my throat and my face scrunched up in response. "Whoa," It felt good for a moment. "Could I have another?"

Raven handed me another shot and her grin was still plastered across her face. "Your girl might kill me if I get you wasted while the sun's still up."

I felt a smile form on my pink lips. "My girl?"

Raven nodded. "Well yeah, Marsh. Yours in every way possible," I let the words seep into my mind as I tossed my head back, downing the shot and looking back over at the older girl. "All yours."

My heart felt like it was running on a treadmill at the highest speed. "All mine," I felt happy to hear it. Heck, I felt happy just being able to say it out loud in a room filled with people I held dear to me. "All mine," I repeated. "I can't wait to be home. I wonder what she's doing right now..."

Spencer hummed lightly before opening her eyes. "She's a good fit for you. I've seen her around at the club. You must feel crazy at the sight of her."

I chuckled lightly. "Yeah I do. All the time." I answered. She looked ridiculously pretty—even in a pair of neon yellow and red fabric. Not many can pull that off I noticed. Adriel was one of the few that managed to make something look great despite the colour, the fit of the fabric and how it clung to her skin tightly after a long hot day.

"Horrendously down bad is what you are," Astrid smiled. "Haven't seen you so giddy before in my life and yet here you are with a smile reaching your eyes from how much you adore the girl..."

I hadn't realised how wide my smile had become, cheeks now hot and (most likely) red. "I adore her a whole lot," I confessed. "Haven't met such a great girl in such a long time. It's been the most refreshing couple of months honestly. Didn't think I'd ever reach this point but God surely works in mysterious ways doesn't he?" I tucked a strand of hair away from my face and behind my ear.

Raven couldn't help but nod after downing another shot of the Jägermeister she brought. "I think we've all been brainwashed by Yvonne's fucked up bullshit that we ended up believing that we'd never live a somewhat normal life ever again," She quickly poured herself another glass and took it like a champ. "We deserve every ounce of good that comes our way. Don't let her ruin what we managed to do for ourselves."

Astrid sighed deeply. "Is she really gone?," Her head hung low as it was since after brunch. "She wasn't always like this. What changed? How did she turn out to be this unrecognisable person?"

I felt my breath hitch. Because of me. I thought about it every passing second—long and hard, until I had no room left for thought. Yvonne changed because I let our love die along with me.