Till the End

chapter 14

Maya

Amara and I entered the mall three hours after exiting the coffee shop. Today felt different like something exciting could happen.

Disguised as an ordinary person, I led the way to a store with cool clothes that looked more fitting for teens. I saw a bright red sequin dress and said, "Look at this, Amara. It's like the dress you wore at prom" making fun of her, Amara looked at it, clearly hating it, and said,

"Dress? it looks like a costume for a Halloween party if someone wants to look like a fucking ketchup bottle"

"Well you did turn heads then," I said.

I laughed, and we joked around, but something was off, not because of her but with me.

She pointed to a sequined jacket, saying, "Imagine strutting into the office on Monday with this. Everyone would think you've lost your mind"

"Which I have," I said

We bantered, tried on shoes, and talked about her life and how amazing her boyfriend was. After buying some stuff, we sat in the food court. As we sipped coffee, I looked at Amara.

"Amara, can you believe how much has changed since college? Late-night study sessions to this, talking about how messed up my life is"

Amara nodded but didn't say much. She said, "Shut up, as long as I'm with you nothing will change honey"

"Some things never change, though. Like my love for you," I said

"That is by far the most romantic thing you've said to me Maya," she said

"Oh save it, we both know that I've said more romantic things to you than to a guy"

"No you save it, you've said more romantic things to your journal about Rayan than to me" she mocked

"How do you know that?" I asked as I raised an eyebrow at her

"Well might have gone through your journal once in college" she confessed

"You did not Amara Singh"

"I did and I'm happy that I did"

"You are so dead," I stated

Rayan

I picked up my phone to check the time, 7:48 pm. Just half an hour more. When I was about to put it down, my eyes caught a text by Darshil, "Date canceled because my mom didn't like her". Phew, I wasn't in the mood of doing that today anyway.

Well, here I am, alone in this under-decorated cabin, staring at the ceiling and grappling with the heavy weight of her absence. I never thought missing someone could feel so desperate, and that someone being Maya. Weird not so weird?

but with every passing moment without her seems to stretch on longer than how time normally passes.

I think I'm finding myself wanting to experience the simple things again, the soft cadence of her voice, and the way her laughter could turn any ordinary day of mine into something extraordinary. It's the small details, the things you take for granted, that hit the hardest when they're gone.

I wonder where she is. I mean yesterday was Sunday so it was an off, but today?

Should i text her or will that be completely weird?

I wonder if she's thinking of me the way that I am. What if she likes the person I used to be?

There's an ache, almost like mourning the loss of an old friend you know? for the version of myself who spread an aura of a certain innocence. He was naive but he was happy. Life's twists and turns have taken me far from that familiar self that everyone was fond of and the gap between who I once was and who I've become feels like two different people with different pasts but it's not.