Open Relationship

Accept

ANNTONIA'S POV

After her saying the one favor I asked, we just sat there, silent.

Is this how loving someone hurts? Is she hurting me like how her ex fucking hurt her? Tangina, Michelle. Ano to buy one take one?

Buy love take pain?

I just sat there, thoughts like " why? " Echoed in my mind. Are you this brokenhearted to pass the pain to me? Tangina mo, Michelle. Tangina mo talaga.

Why? Why does she have to end things? Pinalaki ba talaga siyang ganyan? Am I not deserving to be loved? Universe, for once oh. Just for once show me that I am deserving to witness and experience love again. Is it illegal to love someone? Maybe for Michelle. I don't fucking get it, I don't fucking understand how trying again is so hard for her?

I get that the pain is still there, but how can you go on when you can't even move forward? When you won't even try moving forward. Tangina Michelle, put it in your mind that you can't just be broken hearted forever.

Am I this inlove with her to the point I'm saying bad words to her? How can I not? Ang sakit eh. It hurts, so fucking. So fucking bad. Hindi ko to ginusto. I did not ask for this pain, I did not ask to be hurt, I did not ask for things like this. The only thing I asked was for her to love me. And why is it the opposite? Tangina.

Do I deserve all these pain? Do I deserve to be hurt? Fucking answer me because I don't know.

It hurts as hell. Is this how she felt when Max left her?

Why did I even fall for her? She's Michelle Dee, what do I even expect.

I should've expected this. Why was I so blind to think she would give us a chance. Once a player, always a player.

I just sat there, thinking, deeply thinking as Michelle just stared at me as I broke down, cried hard and had a hard time breathing. When I felt all that, the pain, it wasn't as half as the pain Michelle gave me. The pain she gave was the pain that made me feel worthless.

Michelle just stared at me as thoughts filled in my mind. After a few minutes she then broke the silence when she started talking.

" Anntonia, I'm sorry, okay? But it's best for you to leave. " She said.

What? Is this how she feels? Like I'm just easy to let go? Like I'm just easy to forget?

So after this? What will happen? I don't even want to continue my life anymore. Anong ginawa mo sa akin, Michelle? I fell so hard for you that I wish I didn't.

" alright, thank you for everything, everything I know you aren't grateful for. I cherished all those moments that I wish you also did. I can't, I can't telll myself not to hate you, so fucking bare these words. Bare these words you're supposed to hear. Before we become strangers again, I hope you know how much pain you gave me. Michelle, I fucking loved you, I fucking gave you everything, San ako nag kulang? Am I not worth trying? Is this all just a game for you? Are you that harsh? Michelle, did all those moments we spent meant nothing to you? Was it all..fake? " I said, letting everything out from my heart.

I let out every single thing I wanted to say to her. But why? Even if I tell her how I feel, my heart is still full with all those problems.

" Anntonia, you meant something to me, but that something, it wasn't love. I too thought I had fallen for you but I only thought of that because I wanted to feel loved again. But the love I am longing for, I don't want it from you, I want it from Max. So, please stop. " She said.

Every word, every word was like a knife. As if one word out from her mouth was one knife in my body. I processed what she said, the more words out from her mouth, the more tears falling from my eyes.

After I heard those words, the name of the girl she loves, I couldn't stop myself to walk out.

I walked out there, leaving Michelle speechless.

As I opened the door, Rhian's face greeted me as I saw her Eavesdropping from the door. When I saw her I let out a small chuckle leading her to smile at me as I also smiled at her back and then went straight to my car.

I don't know about this girl. Hindi ko na alam if I will laugh or cry.

I went to my car as I break down while driving. I could not bare to care about my public image.

I drove off as fast as lightning and cried as hard as thunder.

She was everything to me. She was my Universe, my rock, my everything, my solace, my bestfriend and my Michelle. So why? Why can't you just give us a chance, Michelle?

All those months? You did not feel a single thing? Impossible as fuck.

As I was thinking and driving, I did not realize I was causing a conflict as I was driving so fast yet not straight. Cars honked at me as I drove off not in my lane.

I did not care, I only cared about Michelle. The thoughts of her in my mind led my car to stop in the middle of the road as a big truck was driving fast in my direction.

After hearing the cars from the back of me honked. I looked at my right as I saw the truck, I then just stared at it as I couldn't have the energy to drive.

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Hey mga 1AM club! Sipagan ko na po ang pag update hehe. Wag kayong ma walan nang interest, ako po ay hindi kayo idissasapoint, I guess hehe.

Love lots all, eto muna.

" Let it hurt and then let it go. "