Loneliness

Chapter 25-Extra1

This was the first time ever that Chen Dong Lan's hand was trembling while entering the passcode to open the door of his home.
It was the third year of them being together and Chinese New Year had arrived. He and Yuan Yuan would be entertaining both sets of parents in their home for the first time. Actually, since being together all this time, Yuan Yuan's parents had already visited a few times, but Chen Dong Lan's mother had never returned to the country.
How many years had it been? Chen Dong Lan could barely remember.
It was Chinese New Year's eve today. After he had picked up his mother and Uncle Xu from the airport and sent them to their hotel to leave their luggage, he brought them to his and Yuan Yuan's home. He felt extremely uneasy bringing his mother into this house as if he was bringing a threat and an intruder into his stable and blessed home. He couldn't anticipate how Mother Chen would behave in front of Yuan Yuan and his parents, afraid that Mother Chen would only bring a very unhappy Chinese New Year to this home.
To say the least, from the time when Chen Dong Lan picked up Mother Chen, not once did she show him a friendly face. On the road, Uncle Xu was the one speaking, caught in the middle as a messenger between Chen Dong Lan and Mother Chen. If not for the situation already developing to this point, Chen Dong Lan would not have brought such uncomfortable awkwardness into the home.
The door opened and Chen Dong Lan saw Yuan Yuan behind the door to welcome the guests. Father and Mother Yuan heard the sounds and came over as well.
"You're here?"

Yuan Yuan smiled cheerfully and reached out, first pulling to his side Chen Dong Lan, who was torn on how to introduce his elders.
The floor heating had been turned on in the house. Dressed in a sweater and casual pants, Yuan Yuan didn't show any reservations at all in both attitude and action. He was always so at ease facing his elders in his own home.
"Auntie, Uncle Xu, I'm Xiao Yuan. It has been a tough journey. Come in and sit down. Oh, you're too polite, what did you bring? Pass it to me, I'll take care of everything."

Luckily for Uncle Xu, not only did he bring gifts, but he also smilingly exchanged greetings with Yuan Yuan. "Xiao Yuan, it's our first time meeting, of course, we need to bring gifts."
Yuan Yuan laughed and said, "I've been wanting to try this brand of liquor for a long time. Is it not convenient to buy this from within the country?
Thank you so much to you and Auntie."
Mother Chen had dressed meticulously in a nude dress with dark purple embroidery. She wore a cashmere coat over that, with high-heeled leather boots. Although understated, all her jewellery was exquisite and in line with her age and financial abilities. Chen Dong Lan thought to himself, she had probably even pre-planned which expression to put on and what kind of attitude to portray.

She smiled politely, without the slightest bit of warmth, but it couldn't be considered coldness either. In short, the awkward scenario that Chen Dong Lan had been dreading did not unfold.
The two families greeted each other in a friendly manner and everything seemed to be going well.
This was until everyone was seated and tea was served. When Mother Chen started speaking to Chen Dong Lan, the atmosphere turned uncontrollably stiff.
"In the car, I heard you saying that you transferred to a research institute to work?"
Previously, Chen Dong Lan was employed in a corporation. It wasn't bad and the salary was alright as well. After joining the research institute two years ago, his current job scope was now entirely within the laboratory.
"Yes." Chen Dong Lan nodded.
It seemed like Mother Chen had already worked out a draft in her mind.
"Young people should do something more practical. A lot of research is unrealistic, and even after many years, there might not be any accomplishment. I know your previous company. It wasn't bad and the group behind it was big. I don't know why you couldn't just continue working there. Anyway, you're grown up and I can't control what you do."
After saying this, she continued, "I saw that when you picked us up, your driving wasn't proficient. It's definitely due to not driving regularly and not even practising despite that. At the hotel, you almost couldn't park the car, if not for your Uncle Xu beside you helping to check the situation. I remember I spoke to you very early about getting a driving licence and practising driving. I also told you to learn swimming, some music theory and a musical instrument. All these are basic skills. Look at Xiao De, when he reached adulthood, he had already learned..."
Mother Chen spoke continuously while Chen Dong Lan listened earnestly, nodded occasionally and responded with a mindless hum or two.
Around the time when Chen Dong Lan started to become more sensible, the interactions between him and his mother had changed into this strange form. Being silent was the norm. Occasionally, on a whim, the mother would nag continuously. It would be filled with criticism, preaching, emotional prejudice and strange aggression. Chen Dong Lan would listen obediently, only replying with a hum or an "okay". It seemed like total acceptance, but it was actually complete numbness.
When it first started, Chen Dong Lan would feel uncomfortable because of his mother's words. He wanted to rebut but didn't dare. Wishing to gain his mother's favour, he was afraid that talking back would cause his mother to hate him.