𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐑𝐄𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑

002: Hearing Her Voice

Hallies POV:

I've been sleeping on the couch downstairs since Hannah killed herself in our bathroom. I can't walk past without the sudden feeling of nausea.

As I stared at the ceiling above me, all I could think about was Bryce and Justins conversation. It really wasn't much besides them mentioning being on tapes that my sister made. Why would she make tapes about Bryce, Justin, and Jessica? Justin said that he was first on the tapes so that has to mean more people are on them. I just need to figure out how to get my hands on them.

I can hear my parents arguing for the millionth time since the incident but there is nothing I can do. Hannah was their golden child and I was okay with that. As long as my parents didn't completely neglect me then I didn't give two shits if they loved Hannah more.

"Hallie seems like shes crumbling apart day by day because of this!" My moms muffled voice spoke from behind my parents bedroom door. I didn't think I was crumbling, just grieving like everyone else. "We need to get her help so we don't lose our other daughter honey." My dads muffled voice spoke after my moms. Dad seemed like he was going crazier than any of us. I didn't need help, just time. "Hallie is just a walking reminder of what happened to our daughter Olivia!" Hearing those words fall out of my dad's mouth made goosebumps appear on my arms. A reminder? "She's our daughter too, you bastard!!" I felt a tear glide down my cheek but I quickly wiped it away.

Suddenly, the door flies open, hitting the wall behind it, and dad storms out. I quickly shut my eyes and pulled my blanket up to my ears, hiding my quivering lips. Dad grabs his car keys and a coat and apparently Mom was right behind him. "Where the hell are you going?" My mom and dad are standing right outside the living room at the front door, just a few feet from the couch I was fake sleeping on. "I don't know Olivia. Just let me cool off." Dad then opens the door and slams it closed, causing my body to jump quickly, giving away my cover. "Hallie, sweetie?" Mom sniffled, sitting on the end of the couch by my feet.

I slowly opened my eyes and sat up. "I'm just a reminder of Hannah to him?" My eyelids give away and unleash all the tears I was holding back before. "Honey, he's just grieving like the rest of us, in his own way..." Mom said with a unhappy smile. Her eyes look exhausted and glossy. "So he grieves by calling me a reminder of Hannah killing herself?!" The hurt feeling in my body turns to anger. "Honey no, that's not what I-" My mom starts, but I won't let her. "No. Stop. Save it mom." I swing my legs over the couch and stand up. "I didn't care that you guys obviously cared for Hannah way more than me. But don't continue to do it when she's gone! I'm right here! Is she? No the hell she's not!" My head is aching for how loud I yelled at my mom. I regretted it at the slightest but knew I had to say it at some point.

I needed space. I understand why my dad stormed out of the house to cool off, I just didn't like how it was about me. I run upstairs and past the bathroom door that stays closed and push my door open. Once I got inside, I realized that I had walked past the bathroom without feeling sick. I changed from my pajama shorts to my fuzzy pajama pants and threw some socks on, along with my black hightop converse. I had a short sleeve shirt on so I changed it to a black long sleeve and hurried back downstairs. "Honey where are you go-" "Out."

My bike was on its stand over by the sidewalk where its always been. I kick up the stand and swing my leg over to start riding. My legs started to burn a little once I was riding my bike for about 10 minutes. I turn the handle of my bike to turn towards Eisenhower Park when a car swerves around the corner and totally throws me off. My hands shake and lose control of steering and my bike crashes into someones trash cans. My body tumbles over the top of them and I faceplant on the sidewalk.

"Oh my shit." My arms wobble as I push myself up. I don't feel any pain but I feel like I just did a bagillion minute workout and got the soreness added into the mix. Once i'm on my knees, I hear footsteps on the pavement in front of me. "Jesus, are you okay?" I looked up to see the face of Clay Jensen. Everyone! Throw a party! It's Clay Jensen! "I'm just peachy!" I say, looking at the rip in my sleeve. "Come on." Clay reaches his hands out in front of me and I hesitated to take them at first but then gave in. "Can you walk?" Clay stared at my legs and I followed his gaze to them aswell. One of my pant legs had a huge rip in them followed with blood seeping out of my knee. "Isn't that cute." I sighed, trying to take a step but my leg quivers and I nearly fall before Clays arm reached in front of me. "So that's a no on the walking." Clay said, still keeping me steady with his arm. "I just want to go to the park." I say, pointing to the playground a few feet in front of us. "Then lets go." Clay takes his hand from in front of me and grabs my right arm and swings it over the back of his neck.

As Clay helped me wobble my way to the park bench, I noticed earbuds hanging from his sweatshirt pocket. I know it was probably a stretch but I needed to know if for some reason, Clay Jensen had the tapes. When we reached the bench, Clay pulled my arm over his head and helped me sit down. "You know i'm capable of moving my arm myself right?" A small laugh escapes my lips. "Just making sure!" Clay throws his hands up in the air and takes a seat next to me where his stuff had already been sitting. His bike was rested on the metal fence behind us and a box sat on the bench next to him.

"So what's in the box?" I ask, pointing at the box. "Uh, it's nothing special. Just something I have to deliver to a friend before I go home tonight." He was lying and he wasn't good at it. "Do you really think I believe that? It's gotta be like midnight by now." I pursed my lips and gave him a look. "Listen, I can't really tell you. It's a complicated situation." Clay crossed his arms in his lap. "I've been in complicated situations before. Just tell me, I won't snitch." I replied.

Clay sighs, causing his chest to move upward for a moment. "Fine." Clay turned his body toward me. "They are, well, uh, they're tapes." He croaks. My eyes widened. I was right. "Tapes huh?"

"Yeah.." Clay put his head in his hands. "I really shouldn't have told you that." I felt my lips curve into a smile. "But you did. What are the tapes about?" I say, reaching my hand out. Clay sighs and takes a walkman out of his pocket. It had a tape inside it that said 'Tape 1, Side A' and put it in my hand. "Here." He says, handing me the earbuds that were attached. I took a deep breath and pushed an earbud into my left ear. I hesitated to put my index finger on the play button. I squeezed my eyes shut and pressed it.

"Hey, it's Hannah. Hannah Baker."