Natasha Romanoff x Fem!Reader One Shots

my light | A

requested by cocoameow14

This is my first time writing this kind of angst because I definitely prefer fluff but I tried <3

Warnings: leukemia (blood cancer), death

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readers pov:
I felt like all the energy in my body had left me. I've been feeling this way for years but lately I've been doing worse and honestly I'm so tired.

When I found out I suffered from leukemia 3 years ago i was devastated. I didn't want to die yet, there were still so many things that i wanted to do.

The doctors explained to me that there is no cure. The only thing you can do is to treat the cancer to to help improve outlook and it's been working for the last 3 years, I guess.

There have been multiple times where the doctors told me I'd die very soon but i've always proved them wrong, until now.

I fought. I fought for Natasha.

Natasha is the only reason i'm still here. She's been with me through the whole journey and I'm only still here because she always supports me in every way she can.

I'm feeling that my life is coming to an end though. I haven't told Natasha but i think she's started to notice too.

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"But isn't there anything else you can do?!" Natasha slightly sobbed.

We were in the hospital for my daily checkup and the doctor told me the same thing that i've heard many times before. "You only have a few weeks left", only that this time it was probably true, i could feel it.

"I'm sorry, ma'am. We've done everything we could. I advice you too spend your last weeks with your loved ones" He smiled sadly which i returned. He looked at us one last time before nodding and leaving the room.

Me and Natasha didn't exchange a single word during the drive home. Both of us had to let the information we were just told sink in first.

I was gonna die.

Natasha was gonna loose her, what she liked to call me, "light".

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The night was spend doing everything except for sleeping.

We talked, we cried, we cuddled, we sang karaoke, we laughed and we kissed.

The next day was just the same, and the day after that, and the day after that day, and so on.

We visited our family, our friends and anyone who meant something to me, to us.

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"Careful" Natasha chuckled as she helped me off her motorcycle.

It was almost midnight which is why i was so confused about Natasha telling me to follow her.

I thought we were going for a walk but Natasha said we'd drive with her motorcycle which confused me even more. Where would she want to go this late at night?

She wouldn't tell me where we were going so I just laid my head on her shoulder while i enjoyed the cold breeze that was hitting us.

After I managed to get off her motorcycle she made me close my eyes before taking my hands and taking me somewhere.

"Okay... open your eyes" she said nervously.

I opened my eyes and gasped. We were on a large field of grass and the sky was clearer than i've ever seen.

I've always loved the stars but it was hard to even see a glimpse of them between all those city lights.

Tears sprung to my eyes and i held my hands to my mouth "This- this is so incredibly beautiful Natasha. I don't know what to say" I stated amazed by the night sky.

"I'm glad you like it, my love" she said wrapping her arms around me from behind.

After a moment she pulled out a small blanket. We laid down together in each others arms while watching the stars.

"When i'm gone-" i started but was cut off by Natasha taking in a deep breath "Y/n, please don't-"

"No, let me speak. When i'm gone I'll become one of these. I'll always be up there watching over you and waiting for you no matter how long it takes until we're together again"

I turned to look at Natasha who had tears rolling down her cheeks "I don't know how i'm going to live without you. I can't live without you y/n." My heart broke seeing her like this because of me and my stupid illness.

"Yes you can. You're the strongest woman I know, Natasha. Promise me, you won't mourn me all your life, i want you to live your life, my love" I spoke cupping her face while tears of my own started to fall down my face.

"I-" she sighed looking into my eyes "I promise you, moya lubov (my love)".

I smiled with glassy eyes "I love you so much"

"I love you so much too" she returned softly pulling me into a gentle kiss.

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Third person pov:
Not even a week later y/n passed away. Her death was as peaceful as it could've been.
(a/n: why did I write it like this help)

One night she fell asleep and didn't wake up the next morning.

Saying that Natasha was broken, would be an understatement.

She screamed after the love of her life not believing that she's gone. She couldn't be.

She cursed the universe for taking her light.

Every night from then on she'd look at photos or videos of her lost light...

...and at the ring that she was planning on giving her the day they'd gotten the terrible news.

Now she'd have to wait until the both of them meet again.

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A/N:
I cried writing this.