His Malika

His Malika{3}

Saturday 21st April 2020

Cuddled up in a blanket was Noor watching " Friends" while munching on a pack of skittles in her hands. The past few days were hectic for her as the grooms sister and a bridesmaid,now that the wedding is finally over she can focus on her business and start thinking of going back to school for graduation . In her head she knew she does not like stress but she can't give up on her dream just yet, she knows that much.
As if stung Noor jumped from her bed and into her bathroom, forty five minutes later she came out just in time to hear her phone ring, the classic Marimba ringtone blasted from under the blanket with little light illuminating the area. Shaking her head a little as she made to go take the phone she tripped on her dress and fell with a crack and tear sound.
Tears ran down her cheeks and she muttered Inalillahi continuously,she tried to stand up using her arms for support but ended up failing hitting her head on the tiled floor, Her phone rang continuously nonstop. Her eyes slowly started closing as she fought back against the darkness until she couldn't fight no more. Her arms dropped lifeless as she succumbed to darkness.

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"She needs rest" she heard a faint voice saying to whoever was in the place with her accompanied with sniffing and a sneeze.

She tried to ask for water but her throat felt like sandpaper, it felt as if it would hurt her further if she speaks.

So she resorted to moving but the problem was her hands felt very heavy so she could only move her fingers in hopes that someone would see her that's when she heard a barely there voice saying she's moving her fingers.

The sharp and fast pace the heart rate monitor picked alerted the doctor which prompted him to check what was wrong, after checking and making sure nothing was wrong with her that left them with only possibility which was her unconscious mind was functioning in other words she was having a dream a bad one at that

Even though her eyes were closed she felt the presence of someone who smelt like antiseptic which made her think about the possibilities of her being in a hospital then she felt something touching her face which made her move her head weakly.

That brought back awful memories which made her yank her upper body screaming NO which made her regret her actions with the sharp pain she felt and the doctor fell with a thud and whoever it was forcefully hugged her whispering to her Inallillahi wa ina illaihiraji'un which calmed her a lot more than she imagined. The next thing she was slowly falling back into oblivion.

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I opened my eyes only to shut them back again with a groan as a result of the blinding white light in the room that smelt like bakhoor.

I tried opening them slowly to adjust to the lighting before fully opening them when the lights went off and my Naanas face came to view with a relieved smile on her face.

I made to get up and she told me not to and she helped me get into a sitting position with my back against the pillow. She asked if I needed anything as she pressed the emergency button at the side of the bed to signal the doctors that I'm conscious, I am just thirsty and confused how many days did I stay here for.

I feel so tired and everything the last thing I remember is me tripping on my dress and fallling down

"Earth to Noor, what got you so deep in thought" my mom asked me I don't even think I have the energy to speak so I just smiled which I'm sure came out... bad.

"Do you want to eat" she's worried since she's speaking Arabic to me, one thing I failed to notice. And I feel so bad so I nodded my head to say yes. I honestly don t even have an appetite but anything for my Naana .

I watch her stand up from the hospital bed which made me suddenly realise I'm in a hospital room with mustard coloured walls with a squeaky clean floor literally with two doors one which I guess is the entrance and the other one the bathroom.

"Here, drink this slowly" she says breaking my chain of thoughts and guiding my hands and feeding me water, I feel like she's upset with me. And I may have an inkling of what might have done to deserve her coldness.

I nod my head signaling I've had enough to drink and she stands up to return the cup leaving me to my thoughts once again.

Then the bed which was quite big for a hospital in the middle of the room with the machines by the left side and a window at the far end which had black curtains covering it not so far from the window was a little fridge and a kettle.

By the right was a visitors chair and a very comfortable looking sofa with another window and a small drawer with frames of "get well soon" and "healing is a process" hung on the wall.

The one that stuck to me though is "healing is a process" it just reminds me of things that are...unwanted and things I never want to remember. But you have to overcome the pain to heal right? That is another quote hung in the cosy office of my therapist.

What if I don't want to overcome the pain and heal? What if deep down somewhere I want to hold on to the pain? What if I don't want to heal? But What if I want to heal? So many what ifs and if not because it's Haram I'll probably be dead by now.

Astagfirullah, Inalillahi wa inna illaihirajiun, I kept saying, knowing it will calm me down InshaAllah . Somehow I felt myself slowly falling into a dreamless sleep.

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Salam!
     Another update!! The updates aren't going to be steady but I'll see what I can do. No promises though

Amani🎀