Downfall | Austin Butler

Chapter 21

is it alright
to feel this way so early?
but am i blind?
all the sweet nothings
falling in love over night
— softly, clario

——

There was something about waking up in the morning that just felt like the biggest betrayal known to man.

Take going on the best date of your fucking life or having the best night of your fucking life, and then having to leave said person you went out with or the place that made your cheeks burn from smiling so goddamn hard. That's what it felt like to me when my eyes opened and a new day sprung upon me. Sometimes having to start up all again after recharging my battery was the biggest chore, especially when I didn't want to leave my bed. Didn't want to leave the one thing that allowed me to close my eyes at night, rest, shut off the world, forget about my problems, and just dream my little noggin away.

If you weren't following, my bed was the best date or place in this metaphor of sorts or whatever the fuck. That's why I always called my bed my boyfriend cause it just was.

Morning, big English Lit degree brain!

But God, who could leave a bed that had the most comfortable silky ass sheets and the fluffiest comforter known to man, and Christ that smell – that familiar scent of downy mixed with....vanilla and musk?

Wait a fucking minute.

Vanilla and musk!

My bed never smelled like that

With my eyes still sealed tightly, refusing to open just yet, I turned my entire body instead of just my head this time for a further inspection.

But, that ended up being my worst idea yet. "Fucking shit," I hissed as soon as I registered the bulky ass booth on my foot and how it did not move with me as easily as I anticipated a un-bulked up foot-ankle situation to do so. Ah fuck, so that wasn't just casually tossed into my dream sequence. It had become my very real nightmare. That meant that everything that had happened – happened.

Re-adjusting my leg, I let out a much needed sigh and dropped my face smack into my pillow so I could digest this entire thing and let it soak in. This was a usual occurrence for me, where everything from the day prior would come back in waves – but ones from a terrible rain storm, crashing against my shore.

Again, I made another bad move diving my nose straight into my pillow cause now all I could smell was that vanilla and musk. It overpowered that sweet commercial downy scent and made the alarm bells go off in my head.

Austin.

My pillow smelled like Austin.

My sheets smelled like Austin.

God, my entire bed was covered in Austin's cologne, and that proved to be even more true when I turned my head to the left for good measure and picked up a bit of the sheet near my body — what, I liked to be a burrito, okay – and took another whiff.

Yep, it still smelled like Austin, but wait — the sheet was cold. Was he not here? Was I in the clear?

In good ol' Rianne fashion, I extended my arm out and felt around. My brain decided it would be better to do that instead of opening my eyes and seeing for myself what the heck the current vibe was.

Just as I thought, my hand landed flat on the mattress against a heap of cold sheets. My eyes sprung open instantly, and I blinked a few times to adjust to the light that blared through my godawful window.