Viv is moeder, Beth is mum.
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"Whatcha doin' kiddo?" your mum questioned, strutting into the open-concept kitchen/dining room/living room.
"Making dessert for team bonding."
"None for me and your moeder?"
You smirked. "You're not my new teammates. If you want some, learn to make it yourself."
The Striker faked offense. "You're so mean to me."
"It's not my fault you're so easy to bully, mum."
"Hey!"
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"Hi, Cappy," you smiled unsurely as the Aussie pulled the door open with a smile of her own. "I brought desert."
"Aw, thanks, kid," the skipper graciously took a few boxes from you as she stepped aside. "Come on, let's go put this in the kitchen."
"'Eyyyyyy, she's here!" Lisa proclaimed, pumping her fist into the air as you and Mackenzie placed your numerous boxes down on the kitchen counter. "What'd you got, kiddo?"
"Uh... that's chiffon cake, that's sponge cake— that one's tiramisu, and that's... what the fuck was the last one?"
Mackenzie peeked inside. "Croissants."
It was quiet for a moment.
"Huh?" Jessie blinked, voicing everyone else's thoughts. "Are we even allowed—?"
You scoffed, sharing a look with Macca. "I doubt it."
She smirked. "Well, who's here to stop us?"
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"This is so good," Megan commented, munching contentedly on a croissant. "Where did ye' even find all this?"
You looked up from your phone. "What do you mean? I made it."
The Irish Keeper choked on her French pastry as your teammates stared at you, eyes wide. "What?"
"Well, I have to be good at something," you reasoned. "Cooking and baking just happens to be it."
"Can we hire ye' as our personal chef?" Kirsty joked, elbowing Mackenzie. "We'll pay a hundred pounds an hour."
You smirked. "I'm alright, but thanks."
Lisa scoffed. "Yer' good at everythin', kid, so don't go lyin' and sayin' this is your only talent."
You gave her a look. "Will you stop exposing me?"
"No."
"Ah, fuck you."
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"Let's play truth or dare." Lisa suggested cockily.
Jess scoffed. "What are we in, middle school?"
The Scot waved off the remark dismissively. "Y/N, truth or dare?"
"Dare."
"Call yer' parents and act drunk."
You'd already dialed your mum's number by the time the Scot finished her sentence, clearing your throat. "Muuuuuuuum..."
"Yeah, kiddo, what's up?" She questioned, sounding confused. "Why you talkin' like that?"
"I miiiiiss youuuuu!" You giggled, trying your damndest to stay in character and not burst out laughing.
"I can't tell if you're drunk or sober," the forward sighed. "You act like this all the time, just slightly less... excited."
Despite your parents' disapproval, you'd had a few drinks in your lifetime with the sneaky aid of the Irish captain Katie McCabe. It was nothing new for them to learn that you'd been drinking while safely in the confines of a trusted teammate's home.
You coughed into your fist. "I— I— uh... I miss yous!"
Your mum chuckled. "I heard you the first time, sweetie. Do you need me to come pick you up?"
You dropped your phone onto the floor and grunted as if you had tripped and fallen. "Nooooo."
"You okay, kid?" Mackenzie pretended to aid you since your mum could only hear what was going on. "That wall is kinda strong. I wouldn't recommend walking into it next time."
"Oh my— what the hell," your mum sighed. "Y/N? Am I on speaker?"
"Yeah, you are," your captain responded for you since you were too busy trying to contain your laughter. "I'll take her home."
"No, no, it's fine. I'll come and get her. Thanks, though."
You could faintly hear your moeder yelling in the background. "Beth? Is that Y/N?"
Your mum muttered something unintelligible, probably along the lines of, "Duh, who else?"
"Ten pounds she's sober!"
Half of the girls in the room and to slap their hands over their mouths to keep from laughing.
"Yeah, right," your mum scoffed. "She's tipsy at the least."
"Y/N, we're on our way! Don't do anything stupid! Actually, I take that back. You'll do something stupid no matter what me and your mum tell you."
Lisa was unable to stop herself from laughing. "It's alright, Viv. We've got her for now."
"Y/N, you listen to your Aunt Lisa, okay?"
"No, don't listen to your Aunt Lisa!" your mum protested. "She's almost as crazy as you are!"
Said Scot pouted. "You're such a jerk, Bethany."
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"Hi, mum!" You exclaimed, throwing yourself onto her as she walked through the door. "Missed you!"
"I missed you too, kiddo," she smiled, patting you on the back. "Thanks for having her, girls."
Macca grinned. "Of course. She's a lot of fun."
"Say bye, Y/N."
You waved cheerfully. "Bye, Y/-oWw, mum!"
The forward shook her head at you in amusement as you dramatically clutched the back of your head. "Get in the bloody car."
"Yes, mum."
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"Hey, leifje," your moeder greeted as you slipped into the backseat. "Sober?"
"Sober," you confirmed. "Mum never learns."
The Dutchwoman smiled triumphantly. "She really doesn't. I should bet more next time."
Just then, your other parent hopped into the passenger seat. "So, drunk or sober?"
"Sober."
"No way!" your mum cried. "Spell Australia."
It was typical for someone to ask you to spell a difficult word when testing to see if you were sober. The last time somebody had asked you to spell the word 'oxen' while drunk, you'd excitedly said, "o... c... k..." and it had then become common knowledge that you were a sober genius but a drunk idiot.
"A, u, s, t, r, a, l, i, a," you rolled your eyes. "Happy?"
"Darn it, Viv!" she complained, begrudgingly handing over ten pounds. "She's gonna be drunk one of these days, just watch."
You smirked. "You're not wrong."
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Been too lazy to post this lmao
Hope you enjoyed, thanks for reading!
