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Part 22: Treat People With Kindness

"Are we going to talk about what you said the other night?" Harry pulls the covers back and lays down next to me, intertwining a leg with mine.

"Was hoping we could skip it, not like it's recent. It's old news."

"Maybe to you, El."

"I promise I've talked about it in therapy, I've never felt like that again. I just wanted to take the edge off the other night, nothing more than that," I try to reassure him.

"What if next time it's not just that though?" He asks quietly.

"I promise, it's not going to happen again." I reach up and cup his cheek, gently stroking my thumb against his jaw.

"Does anybody else even know?"

"Just you," I whisper.

"If you ever feel like that again, El-"

"I'll ask you for help."

"Just got you back, can't lose you." Leaning in for a kiss, he wraps an arm around my waist and pulls me closer to him.

"Don't worry, 'm not going anywhere," I whisper as I press my lips against his. "We don't need to talk about it more than that?"

"Okay," he says with tears in his eyes. "I love you."

"I love you, too." I wipe his tears and pull him closer to me, running a hand through his hair to try to soothe him.

My shitty night has turned into me comforting Harry, probably one of the few things that could get me out of my funk as quickly as it did. I know it was never his intent, and I still haven't told him about the phone call from my dad, but I know he'd feel the same if the roles were reversed.

"I don't have to go in tomorrow, we can go up to Santa Barbara for the night if you want."

"Can we leave right now?"

"I have dinner with Jeff," he laughs. "We can leave as soon as rush hour ends tomorrow."

"Friday in LA, it's not-"

"You know what I mean." He pats me on the butt and sits up, reaching for his phone.

He zones off into his own little world while I do the same.

I don't know why I haven't told him about the phone call yet, especially when I've told Niall. Not sure if I actually would've told him, he just figured it out based on what I was doing. Even though Harry and I still remember the small things about each other, and it feels like we picked up where we left off, there's five years of habits and quirks we each have to pick up on.

Five years of self destruction to push away and put a pretty bow on, hoping like crazy that it won't be too much to share. That I won't be too much. That's my biggest fear in or our relationship, that I'll be too much to handle on top of everything else Harry's responsible for.

He's always taken the lead in our relationship, even before we were together. It's something that I've just sat back and let him do though, I enjoy not having to make decisions or worry about things. Harry takes care of me and I worry one day he'll resent me for having to do it.

"El?"

"Hm?"

"What if we play a little drinking game on Saturday night? Can write down some questions and pull some from online."

"Like get to know you?"

"Yeah, but catching up on the last few years. Some fun, some serious."

"Sure."